Dear Loved Ones,
I apologize for this fund-raising appeal when we're all tapped out and on the verge of pushing our worthless dollars around in wheelbarrows. I'm also sorry if you've gotten other solicitations about this issue. And what the hell, I'm sorry that you haven't heard from me since the Millard Fillmore administration and now I'm hitting you up for a contribution.
But hey, the stakes are high. That's why I'm asking you to drop by my ActBlue page, Stand Up for Love, and donate a few bucks to help defeat Proposition 8, the right-wing attempt to amend California's constitution to make same-sex marriage illegal.
Prop 8 must go down. This is a major civil-rights issue and we shouldn't be sitting on the sidelines. So please contribute and help the no on 8 movement stop these intolerant creeps from writing bigotry into our constitution.
Plus, the gay community has assured me that if I raise enough money I'll get a pony.
Please give generously to Stand Up for Love. And feel free to pass this entreaty along to other people who give a damn about the pursuit of happiness in America.
Love,
Alvin K
P.S. I'm not kidding. Donate today. We could LOSE, and that would be a really bad thing. Plus, I really want that friggin' pony.
UPDATE: We're already at $200. Thanks so much for your generosity. Please tell your lovely and generous friends.