True Confessions: One of my best friends is a Republican. (GASP!!!)
Over the years, we've tolerated each other's politics with mutual respect (albeit with some good-natured ribbing).
We have stuck by each other through two Bush elections (she was a major volunteer in 2000 -- we're talking invited-to-an-inaugural-ball type of volunteer, although she did not volunteer for him in 2004).
We were also bridesmaids in each other's weddings, and we regularly keep in touch despite living 800 miles apart.
My friend has been drifting from the GOP for a while now -- she is against the Iraq War and she thinks Bush is a failure. She even asked me serious questions about the Democratic primary candidates this past spring.
Today, she admitted to me that she is still an undecided voter.
I just spent the past hour and a half writing to her. I didn't really know what to say -- where do you even begin??? However, after all that time, I came up with something somewhat coherent and sent it to her.
This is what I wrote:
Dear [Friend],
I'm not even sure to start, but maybe this conversation was inevitable. You say that you're still undecided. Normally, I can respect that. Actually, I still do respect it, because I know that you are carefully following the issues and that you are not placing blind party loyalty above reason. At the very least, you are willing to view both campaigns with a skeptical eye.
I do not value your friendship less simply because we have differing views on some political issues. On the contrary -- I value your insights because you are often looking at something from a completely different point of view than mine.Whether I agree with you or not, I still appreciate being able to see where you're coming from.
I remember the first time we really talked about politics. I believe we were at the Lennox Cup O' Joe [local coffeehouse], sitting by the window. (This was in 2000, I think, several months before the presidential election.) You said things to me that day that I have remembered ever since. You told me that I was the first Democrat you had ever talked to who could actually back up their opinions and have a reasonable conversation about politics. Moreover, you told me that you recognized that I am a generally good person who happens to be "a liberal", and the two were not mutually exclusive. Up until that point, you said, you had never been able to respect Democrats (and/or liberals) because they weren't able to argue their positions with any real thought behind them. You also said that the Democrats you had known prior to meeting me all tended to make irrational or reckless decisions in their personal lives, further shredding their credibility with you. I, on the other hand, led (and still lead) a pretty clean-cut, conservative personal life -- one that you could identify with -- and I put real rational thought behind my political views.
That conversation has stuck with me all these years because it reminds me how I won your respect (I think), and ultimately, your friendship. It reminds me that deep down, most people want the same things for themselves and their families and their country. Mostly, it reminds me that passion without intellect is futile. This conversation has kept me honest over the years -- as I react to political events, I always ask myself Why do I feel this way? to make sure I am basing my opinions securely in my own values system, and not merely due to a partisan knee-jerk reflex. To this day, your comments from so many years ago urge me to remain true to myself, not to a political party.
[Friend], I know you -- I know your impeccable character, your strong moral compass, your incredible work ethic, your dedication. I admire your sensible approach to life -- you are the pragmatist that I could never be. Above all else, you are one of the most brilliant people I know. That's why I find it so incredulous that you have not been completely turned off by McCain as of late.
What is it that worries you about voting for Obama? Please tell me -- I'd love to know. Seriously. I would be more than happy to talk to you about anything relating to Obama that concerns you.
But perhaps even more importantly, what is it that prevents you from ruling out a vote for McCain?
I'm asking you honestly: how could you reconcile your admirable principles and personal character with the shameful, dishonorable tactics of the McCain campaign?
You are far from alone in your disappointment (disgust?) for the way the national GOP has conducted itself in recent years. I'm sure you know all about the myriad conservative thinkers who have sharply criticized McCain for how he has campaigned -- George Will, Kathleen Parker, and Peggy Noonan immediately come to mind. I am equally sure that you respect these reliably Republican voices. They, like you, are a rare breed these days -- conservative intellectuals.
I can honestly say that if the situation were reversed, I could not, in good conscience, vote for my party's candidate. I simply couldn't. Not after the embarrassingly blatant lies, not after the inexcusable fear-mongering, not after irresponsibly choosing a patently unqualified running mate, not after such worrisome erraticism in the overall direction of the campaign. The future of our country is too important for that, no matter my political affiliation.
You know as well as I do that politics is not a spectator sport. I view it as my civic responsibility -- no, my civic duty -- to participate in elections as an informed voter. (Hey, I'm even signed up to be a poll worker this time!) I know that you take your right to vote equally seriously. This is why I desperately need to know what you're thinking this time around.
For once, no matter how I try, I can't imagine your point of view. I could understand it if you were a sycophantic ideologue because in that case, facts wouldn't matter. But you're different -- you're an thoroughly reasonable person. What is keeping you from making a decision?
With earnest sincerity,
Anabelle
I don't know if this will make a difference, but I had to say something.
UPDATE
I got this response from my friend this morning:
A couple quick notes . . . . You didn't offend me, I'm leaning pretty heavily towards Obama, and I'm undecided in part because neither candidate "fits" well with me (although I agree that I respect Obama as a person much more) and also in part because [husband] and I agree on who to vote for so we don't cancel each other out, and we've been monitoring everything but haven't had time to sit down and hash out what we're going to do (although he's leaning Obama too). But I will go into more detail later when I can hear myself think! :)
Phew. At least she's "leaning pretty heavily" towards the light. That definitely makes me feel better. (I do think it's weird that she wants to be in electoral lockstep with her hubby, although I'm not entirely surprised because she is such an irrepressible pragmatist.)
I'm looking forward to getting her extended response!