Last night, John McCain sent everyone into a buzz about the way he placed women's "health" in air quotes. Several pundits pounced on it. Americans at home looked at each other and asked, "What the sam fuck?"
But this should come as no shock to any of us.
John McCain's symbol has not been the Republican elephant or the little military star he puts on his bumper stickers. It's air quotes.
Air quotes are the official symbol of the John McCain presidential campaign. In fact, let me rephrase that. Air quotes are the official symbol of the John McCain "presidential" campaign.
It all started when we found out John McCain was a "maverick". That's either because he sometimes "opposed" his own party, or because he used to "fly" planes in the Navy. The "media" loved him, because he always gave them "straight talk".
Through eight years of Bush, McCain "opposed" some of the president's policies, the way he "fought" tax cuts for the wealthy and "disagreed" with the president about torture. He also became well-known for "supporting" "campaign finance reform".
When primary season rolled around, McCain lagged in the polls against the large field of Republican "talent". But running on his "record" supporting the "success" of the "surge", McCain came back. While the Democratic Party "tore itself apart", McCain touted his record of being a "war hero".
But his "war hero" status wasn't enough, so McCain "picked" Sarah Palin as "his" vice presidential candidate. She was very "qualified" because of her "expertise" on energy and her "working-class connections" and her own record of being an "intelligent" "maverick".
When that didn't work, McCain "leapt" into "action", by "suspending" his "campaign" "in response to the financial crisis". He then "participated" in a meeting at the White House and "helped" pass the financial "rescue" "plan".
But now we're less than three weeks away from the election, and John McCain's "performance" at the "debates" has sucked. His "policies" also suck, and "his" supporters are just a couple sheets short of Klan rally.
Let's all do everything we can to turn John McCain's symbol from "air quotes" into parentheses.
PS Here is a picture of a cat in air quotes