I live in an area that doesn't get much in the way of political advertising. No lawn signs. Barely any bumper stickers. No buttons, T-shirts, hats, anything. People around here just don't seem to want to discuss politics with their neighbors.
In fact, I've seen all of two political ads on TV! (Not that I watch much TV, but still.) One of them came on the other night while my husband and I were watching - a McCain ad.
I usually try not to snark at the TV too much either, but for McCain, I decided to make an exception...
This was a "McCain talks very seriously to the camera" ad. For once it concentrated mostly on what he would do to fix the country - a quite surprising, "positive" ad. Of course, that only suits if your definition of "positive" is "I'm going to say all this stuff that is supposed to sound powerful and good but really means absolutely nothing." My husband was watching silently, but looking increasingly grumpy.
So McCain gets to the "I have a plan" line, and I just couldn't keep quiet any longer. "Oh, a new one?" I chirped. "I wonder if it's different from his 37 others? After all, he has a new one every day!" (In retrospect, 37 might have been a low estimate.)
McCain goes on. "Stand with me..."
"Ew, no. I wouldn't get anywhere near you if you paid me."
"Fight with me..."
"Actually, I'd kind of like all this fighting to stop soon."
By this time, my husband looks like he's torn between heartily wishing he could have the mystic power to reach through the TV airwaves and punch McCain in the face, or hanging his head and despairing for humanity. Finally the ad ends with the required phrase... "I'm John McCain and I approve this message." And my husband, who is much more restrained than I about snarking, especially at political nonsense, can't hold back any longer.
"You just delivered this message, you moron!"
But my amusement at the Republicans' expense didn't end there. Our ballots arrived in the mail a few days ago, and then a flood of voting-related material came in the days following - mostly the usual stuff, like "this particular lobbying group recommends you vote this way on these issues." But there was one official notice, apologizing for an "inadvertent error" in the voter's pamphlet. The error in question?
A candidate was identified as Republican when he "should have been identified as an Independent Party candidate."
Immediately upon reading this, I decided that the only logical reaction was to indulge in a bout of maniacal laughter. I mean, could it be any more obvious that that was no "error," but what actually happened was something like this:
Republican candidate: [submits all his information properly by the deadline, goes about his business of campaigning]
McCain Campaign: [explodes in fiery trainwreck of DOOM]
Republican Candidate: OMG WTF I can't be associated with these crazies! I gotta change my party STAT!
Voter's Pamphlet staff: Uh, dude, we're already printing the pamphlets and mailing them, it's too late to change it now.
Republican candidate: PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE
Voter's Pamphlet staff: ...Okay, we're nice guys. Look, we'll print up a correction notice for you, okay?
Republican candidate: [sniffle]
The correction notice, by the way, did not arrive until days after the ballots did, and the voter's pamphlets had arrived way before then. The guy did manage to get himself listed as "Independent" on the actual ballot though. Despite my laughter at his expense, I do feel a little sorry for him - from what I could tell from his policies, he actually seemed pretty sane. (I still voted for his Democratic opponent though.)
My husband and I spent a couple of hours going over the measures and candidates while we filled out the ballots. And most of this time was actual research and/or discussion of the issues, despite the attempts of our cats to get involved in the voting process by helpfully chasing our pens, sitting on the ballots ("this is mine, see, I'm sitting on it"), eating the envelopes, or sitting on us and trying to lick our faces off. But at last we completed everything, and they're going out in today's mail. So now I can say proudly that I VOTED FOR OBAMA!!
And I guess our cats must have ended up content with our votes, because they actually stopped being hooligans and cooperated long enough for me to get this photo:
So, speaking for myself and on behalf of my cats, happy voting to everyone!