Everyone in America
Liked democracy a lot
But the Grouch,
Who had eleven houses,
Did NOT!
The Grouch hated it,
And the whole election season
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be he didn’t learn enough in school,
Where everyone says that he acted the fool.
But I think that the most likely reason could be
His sense of entitlement, "They owe it to me!"
But whatever reason, his head or his heart
By 2008 he hated for elections to start.
Staring down from his mansion with a sour, Grouchy frown
At the happy Americans in each city and town,
He knew in November they would vote for relief
At the polls they’d replace that clown shrub-in-chief.
"And they’ll vote for Obama," he snarled with a sneer,
"Soon will be the election! It’s practically here!"
Then he snarled, with his grouch-face evilly grinning,
"I MUST find a way to stop Obama from winning."
For Nov. 5 he knew...
...if Obama didn’t lose, American would wake up
And rush for the news! And then! Oh the Cheers!
Oh, the Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers!
That’s one thing he would hate! The Cheers! Cheers! Cheers!
And they’d sing! And they’d sing! Sing! Sing! Sing! Sing!
The more the Grouch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why for 54 years they’ve owed me and now!
I MUST stop Obama from winning, but how?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
The Grouch got a wonderful, awful idea!
"I know just what I’ll do!" The Grouch laughed with a frown
And he ran in the primary, cutting each Repub down.
And he chuckled and chuckled, "What a great grouchy sub!
"With Rick Davis’ help, I’ll look just like the shrub!"
"All I need is a running mate."
The Grouch looked around,
But running mates were scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grouch? No! The Grouch simply said,
"If I can’t find a VP, I’ll make one instead!"
So he took Gov. Sarah and smeared on lipstick
And tossed her $150,000 in clothes really quick.
THEN
He told the state committees
To challenge all rosters,
Using their old dirty tricks
To disenfranchise new voters.
He got on Cindy’s plane with pet reporters in tow,
And started to smear Obama. How low would he go?
The Grouch started out saying he would run with honor,
While he whispered some ugly remarks about Obama.
He made some proposals: "It’s all about Iraq!
I’d stay 100 years, but he’ll bring the troops back."
Then the economy tanked! What could the Grouch do?
"I’ll suspend my campaign! I’ll cancel debates, too."
But that danged Obama, he wouldn’t agree.
He smiled and he talked, just acted so calmly.
The Grouch had to debate, then he thought of a trick,
"I won’t look in his eyes, so his ideas won’t stick."
But he lost the debate, all the pundits did cry.
As the Grouch grew more desperate, he started to lie.
"Terrorist! ACORN! We don’t know who you are!"
"He’ll raise all your taxes and take the gas for your cars!"
"And don’t forget, Ayers! Ayers! Ayers! Ayers! Ayers!"
He scared all the poor folks. Then his Grouch-heart grew hard,
And the Grouch and the Gov’nor even played the race card.
But Obama was smart
And he didn’t lose hope.
He told the Americans, who wanted a change,
That there was a way! They had learned to cope.
"We can fix the economy! We can fix health care too!"
"We can fix all the problems shrub made, me and YOU!"
In the TV interviews, the Grouch was flaunting,
"Pooh, pooh on Obama! I’ve got him just where I want him."
"Real Americans vote for me because I’ve made them fear."
"They have believed every lie, inuendo and smear."
"I’ve dashed all their hopes. They’ll abandon their dreams."
"And if they don’t vote for me, I’ll just change the machines."
"They’ll find Nov. 5 that no change is coming!"
"They’ll wake up and I know just what they’ll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two"
"And then the Democrats will all cry BOO-HOO!"
"That’s a sound," grinned the Grouch,
"That I simply must hear."
So he paused Nov. 5 and put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising up from the nation
But it wasn’t a sob, it was a cheer of elation...
There was no sadness!
The sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so! But it was merry!
Very!
He stared at the teevee!
The Grouch popped his eyes!
Then he shook when he saw the shocking surprise!
The popular vote was a landslide, you see,
And Obama had gotten 400 EV!
He HADN’T stopped democracy from coming!
It came!
With a million volunteers, Obama won just the same!
And the Grouch, with his grouch-hands grasping his chest,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could he be best?"
"He ran without fearmongering! He ran without hating!"
"He ran without cheating or rigging or race baiting!"
And he puzzled three days, ‘til his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grouch though of something he hadn’t before!
"Maybe democracy isn’t bought, like something from a store!"
"Maybe democracy ... perhaps ... means a little bit more!"
It could happen...but only if we keep on working. Make sure everyone you know is committed to voting for Obama. Have a party Wednesday night and invite your friends to watch Obama’s 30-minute special at 8:00 pm EDT on most channels. (Major League baseball is going to delay the start of World Series Game 6 until after Obama’s program.)
Take Tuesday off, if you can, and help people get to the polls. Or work as a poll watcher to ensure every vote is counted. Don’t stop now – our goal is within reach.
But now, let’s reach for tonight’s comments....
From fleisch;
In the wake of Ashley Todd's pathetic race-baiting, Meteor Blades’ diary prompted, among other great discussions, a string of folk tales about horrifying experiences at ATMs. I think pattyp wins hands down with this one, plus she has a great sig, and per her profile, she's a librarian. It's like a trifecta of goodness.
The dueling diaries of Elinorianne and GrannyDoc on what 'belongs' at Kos generated a great discussion. Like InsultComicDog, I like a mix and I think this suggestion would both expand the rec list and let people choose their preference without shutting off the possibility of exposing yourself to something different, as filters do. (Although I still hate "Twitter" diaries.)
From Patch Adam;
I filled in for Kula2316 by writing Saturday's Morning Reaction, where west of the beltway succinctly expresses the magnitude of having "A-level politicians" campaigning in rural Virginia; and the wonderful impression it has on a 15-year old boy.
From noweasels;
SantaFeMarie responds to the news that the Fort Worth Star-Telegram endorsed Barack Obama for President this morning.
Jimdotz on November 5.
From phonegery;
Quite Contrary has the perfect explanation for Sarah science-hater.
From ActivistGuy;
SW knows exactly why the Mormons are fighting so hard to pass Prop 8.
From pixxer;
Here I was calmly reading a diary by jhutson defining Rogue, a term which has recently been applied to Sarah Palin. Commenters offered assistance with the defintion, resulting in entirely new word in (constituting!) a comment from seesdifferent. But to appreciate it fully, you should start with the
definition offered by konscious.
From me;
ArkDem14 explains precisely why Arkansas would have been an easy win for Obama, but may be a lost opportunity.
Tonight’s Top Mojo...
Top Mojo excluding search-identifiable tip jars, first diary comments, and C&J comments:
1 - Yep.....ultrageek.....461
2 - thanks - just how I heard it.....Boxer7.....298
3 - Loved "are you joking me, is this a joke".....hr35hrn.....236
4 - Fruit fly research supports evolution..........venezia.....174
5 - Same here.....Lava20.....171
6 - I snuck in candy and she loved it......Lava20.....167
7 - how do you know they're not doing EXACTLY what........dochp.....158
8 - Why don't the investigate the 04 election theft!.....deepsouthdoug.....138
9 - Surely you mean........Freelance Escapologist.....133
10 - he was serious!.....PeaceNerd.....133
11 - Here's the quote, from a commenter below:.....ybruti.....127
12 - Granny Doc is a very valuable contributor.....logsol.....126
13 - How hard it must have been to leave her.....sallym.....120
14 - I loved "I don't know who's writing your.....Xapulin.....120
15 - Holy Crap, this woman is crazy!.....Ab2kgj.....117
16 - I got to where I didn't bother any more.....Bouldergeist.....116
17 - Comment on an important issue.....Heart of the Rockies.....112
18 - you.....graylight.....107
19 - One thing I've always admired about Hawaii.....eystad.....106
20 - Very appropriate that their station letters.....Agent Scully.....105
21 - politicization of DOJ.....underwhelm.....100
22 - Or 2000?.....klamothe.....96
23 - Yes, that's what democracy looks like.....NCDem Amy.....94
24 - Here's the quote.....RudiB.....89
25 - ........InsultComicDog.....89
26 - Granny, I love your diaries, but I am.....blue jersey mom.....88
27 - Amen, Granny Doc. n/t.....Dragon5616.....87
28 - Here is the Youtube Embed.....Hope Reborn.....87
29 - Yes......Bill in Portland Maine.....84
30 - It was truly great what he said, and I was.....That Crazy Mom Over There.....79
Top Mojo with No Exclusions:
1 - Peace, Senator Obama.....Ekaterin.....1141
2 - Tips.....Ellinorianne.....884
3 - Day, after day,.....Granny Doc.....690
4 - tips.............robjnyc.....684
5 - Yep.....ultrageek.....461
6 - tipsies for closing the deal!.....jenontheshore.....439
7 - t/j for Kula! Plus: morning Joe!.....Patch Adam.....367
8 - tip jar here for an answer.....slinkerwink.....360
9 - yep.....teacherken.....348
10 - T/J.....Relevant Rhino.....338
11 - thanks - just how I heard it.....Boxer7.....298
12 - WTF???.....haremoor.....289
13 - I didn't tip or rec GD's diary because.....That Crazy Mom Over There.....249
14 - Loved "are you joking me, is this a joke".....hr35hrn.....240
15 - Tips go here.....juls.....205
16 - Tips! For science!.....jforman.....203
17 - Tip Jar.....azureblue.....190
18 - Fruit fly research supports evolution..........venezia.....174
19 - Same here.....Lava20.....171
20 - I snuck in candy and she loved it......Lava20.....167
21 - how do you know they're not doing EXACTLY what........dochp.....159
22 - Why don't the investigate the 04 election theft!.....deepsouthdoug.....138
23 - he was serious!.....PeaceNerd.....136
24 - Surely you mean........Freelance Escapologist.....133
25 - OMFG. You would think a company that gets.....FightingRegistrar.....128
26 - Here's the quote, from a commenter below:.....ybruti.....127
27 - Granny Doc is a very valuable contributor.....logsol.....126
28 - Tips for my amazing nephews?.....earicicle.....126
29 - How hard it must have been to leave her.....sallym.....120
30 - I loved "I don't know who's writing your.....Xapulin.....120