Okay, so I know this is even less of a diary than I usually put up, but I just got this in my Inbox and had to share it. I'm still laughing.
Don't ask me how, but I'm on several right-wing mailing lists. Occasionally, if a subject line piques my interest, I'll even read the damn things.
So here comes this one, from Scott Wheeler, executive director of The National Republican Fund PAC:
Obama Sneaks into Ga., GOP on 'Brink' of Disaster
Did I forget the five exclamation points? Sorry. And the italics:
Obama Sneaks into Ga., GOP on 'Brink' of Disaster!!!!!
Translation below -
(All boldface in original; remarkably, caps lock was not used:)
The latest FEC filings show that as of November 12 for the special Georgia Senate race, liberal Democrat Jim Martin has raised $2.4 million.
[snip]
You may recall that I warned you that the Democrats were going to try to "snatch" this usually safe Republican seat from us.
They have a simple plan, the same one Obama used to beat Hillary and McCain.
First, they outspend their opponent.
Second, they "turn out" the African-American vote and other special interests that make up the Democratic party base.
So far, so good, right? You know: blah blah blah LIBERAL blah blah OBAMA blah blah blah NEGROES!!!
Heh.
But the best part, the best part, was this: Right after the paragraph that points out that Jim Martin has raised - horrors! - $2.4 million from all of those special interests (you know: black people, unions, scary black people, liberals, gay liberals, Al Franken, scary black presidents who want to take away your guns, etc.), comes Teh Math (again - all bold face in its embarrassing glory in the original):
Meanwhile, Republican Saxby Chambliss, who is fighting desperately to keep his Senate seat out of Barack Obama's control, has raised $1.4 million - that's $700,000 less than Martin!
Hmmm, 700 thousand dollars, you say? Hmm, well, hold on one second, let . . . mmmme . . . check . . . heeere . . . <sound of adding machine keys being punched, paper tape churning, tape being torn off> . . . Hmm, well, yes, maybe it's my liberal gay-loving adding machine, but according to my calculations, if Jim Martin has raised $2.4 million from his black, gay, liberal, gun-hating, union-loving special interests, and Saxby Chambliss has raised $1.4 million from his doughy, white, racist, homophobic, ignorant corporate special interests, that would mean Chambliss had raised, uhh, a million dollars less than Martin.
Karl Rove, Evil Genius behind all recent Republican electoral successes, in October 2006, just before the midterm elections:
SIEGEL: I'm looking at all the same polls that you are looking at.
ROVE: No, you are not. I'm looking at 68 polls a week for candidates for the US House and US Senate, and Governor and you may be looking at 4-5 public polls a week that talk attitudes nationally.
SIEGEL: I don't want to have you to call races...
ROVE: I'm looking at all of these, Robert, and adding them up. I add up to a Republican Senate and Republican House. You may end up with a different math but you are entitled to your math and I'm entitled to THE math.
SIEGEL: I don't know if we're entitled to a different math but your...
ROVE: I said THE math.
I love THE Math. It's my favorite kind.
OMG, can you say "morans"? Oh! - and, BTW, Republicans! Remember, Democrats vote on Tuesdays, Republicans vote on Wednesdays.
Sheesh.
UPDATE: Uh-oh, Rec list. Thanks, folks. So I guess I need to add a veneer of seriousness and respectability to this little diversion. Okay, here you go . . .
Remember that road, the one we're supposed to leave it all on before the election? Well, that road is The Road To 60, and we're still on it:
Jim Martin for Senate - show Jim some love; it's far from over.
While you're at it -
Al Franken for Senate
Thanks.