Lost in all the static about the "Big 3" lately, is the one thing in Detroit, that truly needs to be "bailed out". It's not the assembly line workers, nor is it the car companies. There is 1 thing in Detroit that, more than anyone, needs A LOT of help, and needs it fast. You may be asking, "Who needs more help than the 'Big 3' in Detroit?" I'll tell ya who: The Detroit Lions
Like many people , I am enjoying the time-honored Thanksgiving tradition of watching football, The Tennessee Titans vs. The Detroit Lions, and it is absolutely incredible. I haven't seen a team (Lions) suck this bad in a long time. I take that back. I have seen a team suck this bad before. Every Thanksgiving. Year after year football fans are force fed the steaming pile of suck that is the Detroit Lions, which, by the way, haven't been good since Barry Sanders retired. I understand that it's tradition to have the Lions play on Thanksgiving, but this is getting ridiculous, and I think it's time for a change.
BREAKING: They just lost again. Final score: Tennessee 47, Detroit 10.
This brings me to the "Bailout". What I'm proposing is this:
Congress should give the Lions enough money to buy out all of the contracts it has with players, coaches, and front office personel, give severence packages to non-contractual employees, and let the team fold.
It is obvious that the Lions qualify for a taxpayer bailout, under the recent criteria set by Wall Street, and the "Big 3". There management has been shortsighted in there decision making, they keep offering the same inferior products year after year, and their goals for the future are firmly rooted in the past.
On second thought, Let's not bail out the Lions. Let's keep them. After all, it benefits us all to have a good laugh from time to time.