As I see and hear how the LGBT community reacts to the Rick Warren situation, I think back to my reaction as a Muslim during the "Obama is a Muslim" saga. While I'm not trying to equate this with the hurt felt by the LGBT community, I do think the Muslim response to that saga can be instructive. More below the fold; skip to the last paragraph if you just want the point.
Obama never said or did anything overtly disrespectful to Muslims, but he also went out of his way not to be too supportive either. He never went to a mosque during the whole campaign, never said "And what if I were a Muslim? What's wrong with that?", and his campaign removed two women wearing headscarves from a camera shot (he later apologized).
Despite all of those percieved insults, I was never particularly outraged by his actions, and neither was most of the Muslim community by my observation. I knew that his policies were supportive of improved relations with Muslims around the world, and I knew that it was politically sensible for him to handle the situation the way he did. While I am sad that so many people in this country have such a negative view of Islam that it has become politically radioactive to be associated with Islam in any way, I understand that that's where we are right now. Pressuring Obama to respond to the situation by embracing Muslims would have hurt him politically and made it less likely that he could implement the policy changes that I desperately wanted on issues relevant to Muslims.
I know Rick Warren has some highly bigoted views on gay marriage and has made some terribly offensive comments, but think about the political angle for a second. He has a large following of young evangelicals who are politically up-for-grabs. If we can cooperate with them on poverty and the environment, perhaps we can change some views on gay and lesbian issues as well. But remember that appointing Warren to speak at the inauguration does not represent any policy change whatsoever. In fact, improved support among young evangelicals could actually provide some political cover for an agressive push for gay and lesbian civil rights. If Obama can work with evangelicals on environment and poverty, they will be less inclined and less well positioned to aggressively attack him as anti-religion on gay and lesbian civil rights.
My point is, focus on the policies we want to achieve with respect to gay and lesbian civil rights, and hold him to those policies aggressively. Don't focus on symbolic gestures or political plays. The right-wing never made Bush take the word "compassionate" out of "compassionate conservatism." And they still got everything they wanted.