Yes, it's that important to me and I think some in my life have doubted my commitment to this issue, so let it be clear, that if one of the two following things happens, I will file for divorce from my husband.
First, if Ken Starr is successful in divorcing those 18,000 plus same sex couples that married during the short amount of time that marriage equality was legal in the State of California
Secondly, if the Supreme Court fails to over turn Prop 8 in March and the State of California continues to make same sex marriage illegal.
Look, this is a serious pledge with a serious issue. I've been married to my husband for over ten years. This is not something I take lightly but I do believe that proposing this communicates the severity with which I take Marriage Equality. I can't donate more money and there isn't much time that I can give to the cause to the point where I think it could have as much impact as filing for divorce from my husband.
I ask that others make this pledge so that we can show our GLBT community that we take their pain and their hurt seriously. It is time to end marriage inequality in this Country and it's time to move into the 21st Century. No one is saying that people don't have a right to oppose same sex marriage, they just don't have the right to put their religious beliefs into OUR constitution. It has to end.
Will it matter much? I doubt it but enough people, straight people who can take their marriage for granted, were to make the gesture, maybe it would do enough to send a message to those who vehemently oppose it that their crusade is futile.
I think many believed that Proposition 8 was going to be defeated and they did not do enough to ensure that it was. So, I know, this is too late but I hope not too little. We can talk about it as much as we want but I hope the actions of some very sincere hetero couples sends a much louder message than the words that have been flung around the past few months.
I can call people bigots, hateful, etc. but to demonstrate my dismay with the current condition of Mariagge by divorcing my husband, who I have no intention of leaving any time soon, would demonstrate that my marriage means nothing if not everyone is allowed to marry. It means NOTHING if we do not have marriage equality.
I do not want to be part of a privileged class that has rights that others are denied. One could argue that the lack of inequality is actually hurtful to all marriages. We cannot stand for it any longer if we really want to see things change.
PS - Please don't tell Gary about this, I haven't informed him yet and I would like to be the one to deliver the news. Hopefully, I won't have to do this but I promise I will if marriage equality doesn't happen in 2009.
UPDATE - Now I'm crying because so many of you ask that I not make this kind of decision. Which means, that in the face of bigotry and inequality, you still care about others that have what you do not. Sure, I may be a freak for making such a pledge but I don't know how else to demonstrate my commitment to same sex marriage and to the GLBT community, all four letters, ALL OF THEM. Thank you.