I once thought that straight people who described themselves as progressives supported gay rights because they were altruistic. But the recent flare up here at D-Kos over Rick Warren has taught me that is not always true. It is false more often than makes me comfortable.
It seems to me that many straight progressives, especially here at D-Kos, only support gay human rights as a sort of electoral bargain. "We'll support gay rights, if you give Democrats your unquestioned loyalty."
I don't address this to all straight progressives. Thankfully those I just described don't seem to be a majority. But they seem to be plenty enough to be a threat. They have effectively put out an ultimatum to gay people: if you want your human rights, behave as we say or you're out on your ass!
We dared challenge the legitimacy of the beliefs of those, like the Mormons, who worked tirelessly to dismantle our rights. We dared complain about Rick Warren. We dared question Obama over his appointment of Warren to lead the invocation at the inauguration. We dared to protest in ways that made some straight progressives uncomfortable. We dared to boycott businesses that supported Prop 8. We dared to get angry when we were kicked in the face while we were down.
White gay people have suffered an additional scorn by these so-called "progressives." Apparently, that we question why 70% of the African-American community voted against our human rights, we have to be labeled racists. Now, there is no question to me that some white gays are racist, and that some reacted to the above statistic with vitriolic racism (I even wrote a diary about it). But let me tell you something, I live here in the south, and as segregated as the gay community can be, from my experience, the least segregated events in the south is often a GLBT pride festival or some other GLBT gathering.
But, I digress.
The point is this. Don't claim to be in favor of gay human rights if you can put conditions on it. If you tell me to behave in a certain fashion, "don't question Obama for appointing Warren, or else," then you are, in essence, no different than any right wing homophobe. Because the truest nature of homophobia, is to tell gay people how to behave, or your humanity will be stripped from you.
When you tell me NOT to question Obama or else, or leave any hint that there is an or else, then you are telling me how to behave.
And don't tell me that I don't hear what I hear. Don't tell me that when Warren groups incest, polygamy, pedophilia, with homosexuality, that he hasn't just compared me to an incestuous person, a polygamist person or a pedophile. When you deny that, you have begun down the road of oppression denial. Denying the wrongs done to gay people IS to begin a trek towards oppressing gay people. The trek towards oppression begins when you make it so that inaction is acceptable.
But many straights here at D-Kos have decided to throw down the gauntlet and issue an ultimatum to gay people. They have told us not to be militant. Every fight against oppression was militant. The US Revolutionary War was as militant as you get. To condemn militancy in a fight for justice is to condemn the US founding fathers.
They have told us to watch our anger. Anger at oppression gives birth to resistance of oppression. If you hear that Dr King was never angry, watch yourself. King's words against his oppressor were quite angry. Not all his words were as musical as "I have a dream." But, say many straight "progressives" (again, not all straight progressives, thankfully), we are to be Vulcan-like automatons who do not express our legitimate emotion, or else.
The ultimatum, again.
Conditional support for our human rights is no support for our human rights.
Do me a favor straight "progressives." If you don't truly, and altruistically support our human rights, be honest with yourself and with the GLBT community (and those that support us), say plainly that you don't support our cause at all. Also, I love the word "progressive," (meaning to progress) do not flatter yourself with the word progressive if you dare put an ultimatum on anyone else's humanity. That is not progressive, but it is far more sinister than the blatant regressiveness of Rick Warren, because it is a lie to yourself, and to everyone else.
Then these straight "progressives" have managed to make our fellow GLBTers so uncomfortable in their own skin that some GLBTers have wilted before them and and pleaded the case for tolerating straight bigotry. It seems in every human rights movement there were those who were so frightened of disobedience towards the oppressor that they attempted to soothe the oppressor, sadly, to only earn the reward of a demeaning pat on the back for keeping their place.
"Be thy either hot or cold," said a famous Christian, "but if you be lukewarm I will vomit you from my mouth." I do not need, nor do I desire your fence-sitting conditional support. I will not accept your ultimatum. If some of our tactics and some of our anger is a turn off to you, then realize that heterosexist society's tactics and anger towards us have been far more than a turn off. We do not have the luxury of merely being turned off. The penalties inflicted upon us by heterosexist society leads to no mere disenchantment. It is a denigration of our condition, of our existence, of our dignity, and of our pursuit of our humanity.
If you don't like our behavior, then remind yourself what social science has taught about those living under oppression. Oppression breeds the behavior and emotions that makes you uncomfortable. To eliminate those things that make you queasy about our community, don't ask us for a change, demand your fellow straight people to change, demand they change their oppressive ways. Lay the ultimatum at their feet. Our anger, our militancy, our "intolerance" will unquestionably die when we finally live in justice, peace, and equality with our fellows.
But not until then.