Authorities are on the lookout for suspicious activity or a possible Cloverfield monster following the observation of a thin, pink vapor that was observed in the skies over New York City today.
Also, bits of pureed organic matter have been falling from the sky as far away as New Jersey and Connecticut.
In what may prove to be a related story, a loud report that earwitnesses described as "squishy" was heard in the Fox News studio where the Bill O'Reilly radio show is filmed.
Investigators say they are still trying to make sense of these bits of news, which began coming into police stations shortly after the news of comedian Al Franken's defeat of Norm Coleman in the much-disputed Minnesota U.S. Senate race.
"Well, we first observed the cloud this morning after that news story first broke," said police investigator Laurence Chutney. "After calculating for prevailing wind direction and other weather factors with the help of the state meteorological agency, we determined that the epicenter of the pink cloud was the headquarters of Fox News."
Inquiries made to Fox News headquarters turned up a fresh piece of the puzzle, investigators said, when it was discovered that a strange sound was heard that same morning.
"The sound came from Bill's dressing room, right about the time when he does his show prep. Usually he's looking through the morning's news reports and then he goes in for make-up. But when he didn't show, we started looking around," said network page Tim Ferguson. "Turns out the people in that studio heard something weird."
Security tapes reveal a wet, pulpy explosive sound localized in or near O'Reilly's dressing room. The author and star of "The O'Reilly Factor" has not been seen since.
Samples of an apparently organic, splotchy-colored material have been collected from New York's neighboring states and sent in for analysis. Locals from cities such as Darien, Connecticut; Nutley, N.J., and others reported that the material fell from the sky shortly after reports of New York City's "pink mist" made the news.
"I was in the middle of my Lucky Charms when something crashed through the skylight in my dining room and plopped right into my cereal bowl," said Jersey City resident Carl Johnson. "It was quite a revolting development. I could barely finish my cereal."
Officials are slow to draw any sort of connection between these three news stories, cautioning people in the media against speculation of any sort.
"Look, these three incidents happened over a fairly large areas. These media reports of Mr. O'Reilly's head exploding are totally unfounded and are, frankly, irresponsible. Our best researchers have told us that the sheer amount of explosive force required to send that material into bordering states would be impossible for the human head to generate," Chutney said.
Even so, Internet rumors are spreading faster than the news itself. The Drudge Report Web site, run by Internet reporter Matt Drudge, topped his site this morning with the headline "POP!!!" and a graphic from the 1981 sci-fi movie, "Scanners."
We will have more on these stories as they develop.
PS: I recalled just now that in "Lying Liars," Franken wrote that every time he'd catch Bill in a mistake, he'd strip naked and dance around in the living room with his genitals flopping wildly, much to the horror of his wife's guests. Well, we're dancing with ya, Al.