Hello family. I usually don't post diaries but I really need some help and I figured this would be a great place to start. I just read algebrateacher's diary and since I believe that everything happens for a reason, I now see this as confirmation that I need to follow my dream. For the last week or so, I have been contemplating a career change.
For most of my life I have worked with kids, tutoring, teaching and mentoring. For the last almost 5 years now I have gone away from that path and down the line of finance. I thought that was what I was supposed to do and with my affinity for numbers, I figured it would be a good path for me. This happened for a number of reasons. Due to family complications I never finished college, and this was a field I could work in and still flourish because of my people skills, knowledge and compassion for others. recently I have been reminded of my first love. It happened while tutoring my 12 year old cousin in 7th grade algebra. I would help him once a week and his grades started improving. Every passed test was like a victory for my soul. Unfortunately I recently haven't been able to continue this and his mom had to hire a tutor to help him. He still calls me whenever he has a big test and lets me know how he did. The other day on one of these calls he said something that I haven't been able to let go of. He told me that while his tutor is nice and she helps him, he misses me and wishes that I would still be able to tutor him because I take my time and make it easy to understand. That one small statement touched me so much, that even as I think about it I am crying. I believe in my heart of hearts that this is supposed to my path in life. If you could see my resume from age 12 to 23 it is filled with work with children. They bring me joy, but I am also terrified. I'm scared to go back to school. I work for a really good company but they don't pay very much and I don't know if I can afford to go back. Also, my first attempt at college didn't go so well. I had so much going on that my grades weren't the best and my study habits are poor because I learn more by doing than reading or listening. On the other hand I know that if I don't do this, I will never be truly happy and will be chasing that happiness for the rest of my life. I would really appreciate if anyone here can help me. Many of you are so accomplished and any ideas are welcome. I refuse to let my nerves get the best of me. There are tons of children to help and I want to get started as soon as I can.