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(And when I say Mr. Limbaugh I, of course, mean Mr. Hannity, Ms. Ingram, Mr. Savage and anyone else who HAS the requisite 206 bones to be considered part of the human race, but lacks the 1 HONEST bone to be in the related subset of... say, the sentient... or the coherent... or, lately, the relevant.)

Sorry, where was I...

Dear you guys and gals:

I want, 48:30 hours into the Obama administration, to lay out NOW, what you will say THEN, so LATER I can call you guys "feces-sacks" and "infected sweat pores" in good conscience.

Here's how you will play the TERRORISM card against the 44th President of the United States...  

  1. If there are NO ATTACKS on American soil during the first term of President Obama, you will tell us that is because George Bush and Dick Cheney WON the war on terror (like Ronald Reagan WON the Cold War) and that all the "dangerous rollbacks" such as outlawing torture and closing Guantanamo Bay were only possible because of what George Bush did.

This lack of a terrorist attack will be a repudiation of Barack Obama and THE GREAT justification for The Bush Presidency.

  1. If there is an attack on American soil during the "9/11 WINDOW"... meaning an attack that was "planned" during one administration but "carried out" during another (and by carried out, I mean with the glorious "No one could have forseen 9/11" caveat)... you will tell us that the "9/11 WINDOW" does not apply THIS TIME because A) Barack Obama should have known better BASED ON 9/11 (which somehow doesn't apply to the FIRST attack on the twin towers) and B) had Barack allowed torture and maintained Guantanamo then we would have, though the breathless 24ing of every brown man we can round up, DISCOVERED the terrorist attack and thwarted it.

This early-term terrorist attack will be a repudiation of Barack Obama and THE GREAT justification for The Bush Presidency.

  1. If there is an attack on American soil after the "9/11 WINDOW" closes (and I'd bet my house that on September 12th of this year ONE of you will go on the air and say, "This is all on President Obama now") you will, of course, blame Barack Obama and the Democratic Party and the liberal media without ever musing on the concept that 4000 dead Americans (and an additional 100,000 Iraqis) THERE is really no better than 4000 dead Americans HERE.

This late-term terrorist attack will be a repudiation of Barack Obama and THE GREAT justification for The Bush Presidency.

So, there's the script as it is already written and placed, breathlessly, HOPEFULLY, for the day when something terrible this way comes.

Because while I know the future is not predetermined, your simian analysis ABSOLUTELY is.

Originally posted to SYFPH on Thu Jan 22, 2009 at 12:22 PM PST.

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