Dear President Obama:
What the flip flap is going on with you dude? Seriously.
Were you or were you not sworn in officially as President of the United States of America on January 20th, 2009? Well it's February 4th, 2009 EXACTLY 15 DAYS later and I have to say, I am COMPLETELY disappointed!
You have totally let the republicans run ram shod...ram shed? rough shed? over you!! Do you know what those awesome republicans were doing while you were twiddling you thumbs, passing Executive Orders to ensure lawful interrogations, close Guantanamo, strengthen unions and workers and help restore government transparency (and the other crazy orders here) and passing such NONSENSICAL laws as SCHIP and the FAIR PAY ACT? They were preparing a strategy, they were getting things done! That's right while you were passing all these laws and Executive Orders which are of absolutely NO USE to ANYONE, and you know, not that difficult to pass to begin with, I mean ANYONE can sign a sensible bill into law and pass a few Executive Orders. Bush Jr. did it allll the time. Like, I'n pretty sure he would have signed SCHIP if the damn Democrats had included a tax break in there. It's not his fault that they didn't want a serious bill.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, while you were twiddling your thumbs barely doing anything, the republicans were doing all SORTS of important things for the country like being OBSTRUCTIONISTS.
That's right.
The republicans are the only group showing they're the ones who are tough. They have proven that they have the courage, raw nerve, manly smell and tenacity to hold the future of the country hostage (i.e. destroying any chance of its economic recovery) purely for the sake of preserving their failed political, social and economic ideologies. WHY OH WHY CAN'T YOU DO THE SAME?
What is wrong with you? How dare you try to give people a chance to act responsibly, like adults? How dare you NOT act PURELY in the interests of your own political party? Who the hell do you think you are?
NEWS FLASH: This is the United States of America, we don't care if you're wrong, as long as you're loud and you appeal to our deepest, basest emotions...oh and you do what each and every liberal and/or Democrat says, even if one thing contradicts the other.
THAT'S how you get things done, by appealing to the worst in people not the best, by lying, cheating, exaggerating and when all else fails throwing a tantrum...or going on vacation...I mean just look at the awesome condition Bush Jr. left the country in and he was on vacation 165 days out of the year! You work weekends for pete's sake!
You need to do to the republicans what they would not hesitate to do to you. If you don't, how can you prove that you're any better than them?
owlbear1 made an awesome suggestion in an earlier diary here. I suggest you follow owlbear's advice. After all, what's the use of having a real terrorist threat if you can't create fake terrorists threats as a way to push your political agenda? As a New Yorker, I totally give you permission to do a few subway threat scares, God knows it keeps us young, and hey any stress related injuries, mild heart attacks etc. that occur as a result will totally be cool since we will all be covered under universal health care.
Now it might seem like we are acting like your Presidency is the shiny new Nintendo Wii on sale and in limited supply at WalMart for $45.00 on Christmas Eve, but look if a few people have to get hurt in order for us to get ours, then they shouldn't have gotten in our way. We know what's best and we will not wait any longer for what we deserve! In other words, and I never thought I'd agree with a republican but, we are getting really impatient with you.
So take a page out of the republican playbook or else. You now have TWO days to get everything turned around and right.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen
P.S. And Daily Kos totally agrees with me!! Daily-fing-kos, so I know it's true.
UPDATED:
I'm adding the following video because frankly, it gives me something to do other than counting the number of pulses the vein on the side of my head produces as I look through the diary list and front page today. Plus it's Golden Girls. EVERYONE loves Golden Girls. So for anyone who is as tired of these Woe is Us Diaries as I am and need something to calm down here be Henny Penny:
Also, per my charitable nature and the comments below Obama now has two days and 21 minutes.