Watching the speeches of both President Obama and Louisiana governor Bobby Jindall at home, Sarah Palin of Alaska boldly sprang into action from her living room chair and into the governor's mansion. There, she immediately contacted Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar and demanded the United States Geological Service stop monitoring Mount Redoubt, and deny funding to any institution that seeks to study it. The volcano had been estimated to erupt any time by the government agency.
"Alaska has shown leadership through example in refusing the American people to let their tax dollars be wasted on this aspect of big government encroaching into our lives," said Palin giving an impromptu speech to a cache of reporters. "When I was inaugurated, I pledged to protect Alaska like a Southeast Eagle soaring over her young, like a nanook presiding over her cubs."
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"That's why I am letting private enterprise do what it has shown over and over again that it can do best. A subsidiary of Blackwater, Inc. has volunteered to have their seismologists watch Mt. Redoubt around the clock.
Rather than call for an emergency evacuation, Blackwater will provide data on the rumblings and tumblings over there on that mountain to any Alaskan citizen willing to pay $200 for access to their reliable research data."
Republican Party chairman, Michael Steele, praised Jindall's speech and Palin's swift response. "Maybe I'm trippin', dawg, but I thought Jindall brought the house down. Americans will take to heart the message that you can't trust the inept and incompetent Republicans in Washington for anything, and as a Washington politician, I endorse that.
As for Palin, she has always been a crusader against earmarks, and when a fellow Republican calls her into action, God bless her, she just can't restrain herself."