He has souperdooper powers, did you know?
It dawned on me, while I was reading Jed Lewison's front page story about Newt telling us how Obama has misappropriated dictatorial powers for himself. Wait a minute, I says to myself, weren't we talking, a few years back, about how King George II of the House of Bush, he of the signing statements, was assuming dictatorial power? Wasn't it Bush who spent the last eight years systematically depriving the American people of their Constitutional liberties?
By golly, it was! So, what the heck is going on here? I asks myself. Then it hits me, Bush assumed all those powers because Obama made him do it!
Amazing. Spooky. Who'd have thought that a skinny kid with a funny-sounding name and big ears, and also with a Kenyan birth certificate and a Muslin Zionist Jihad agenda controlled by Bill Ayers and kindergarten children, and also an arms-baring revolutionary wife and legions of greenshirt FEMA-camp cloned volunteers at his command... who'd have thought a guy like that could have been responsible for the misdeeds of the Bush empireadministration?
And yet, the evidence was always there.
Who besides me started to have suspicions when Rush, among others, would refer to this recession as The Obama Recession? Oh, we laughed, but did we ever check out his allegations, NO! Bush was in office for all those years the banks were allowed, nay encouraged, to run wild with their Mortgage-Backed Securities, their Credit Default Swaps, and their crazy Key Parties. (Okay, maybe not that last thing.) So, naturally, attention gets deflected onto Bush. That was the most clever part of Obama's plan. He gets Americans buying houses they can't afford - or could before real estate crashed - and he bundles and sells those mortgages to, of all people, the Chinese! The Manchurian candidate has already struck and he assassinated the economy!
That was devious in the extreme, but perhaps not indicative of his true powers. For that, we need to look at the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Simply put, Obama covets Afghanistan. Always has, always will. Iraq was a mere pawn in a secret plan to implement a secret plan to get us back into Afghanistan. He'd probably get an Afghan hound for his daughters if he thought it wouldn't stir up allergies and public outcry for a shelter puppy.
To prove that Iraq was a distraction, look at Obama's opposition to our entry into the war in Iraq: he opposed it yet never voted against it. How convenient! Furthermore, by opposing our involvement in Iraq, he almost obligated Democrats to vote in favor of it, so they could later use his non-support against him in case he ran for President, which nobody knew he would at the time, not even Obama himself - he's really that evil and conniving.
All the while Bush thought he was the one who sent our troops out into harms way in Iraq. Really it was Obama, who wanted to send them so they could be called back, making him look good while he furthered his evil designs upon Afghanistan. If you look at Bush's speeches really hard, you can tell he was afraid he might be under some outside force's control. He protests too much, with phrases like "at a time of our choosing" and assertions like "I'm the decider."
How does Obama do it? No one knows. Does he simply undermine their confidence with his cool or do the laser-like beams of his thoughts command them? I've heard it said he can see the future. Well, I heard myself say it just now, so technically that's true.
No wonder Republicans live in fear. No wonder they surround us with guns and Glen Beck. No wonder the tea-baggers cry "taxation without representation!" for are they represented in Obama's omnipotent laser-beam thoughts? No! And so the world looks on, scratching its head.
In the meantime, his powers grow.