We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.
-Newt Gingrich
Now is the time. We, the patriots, must stand. The quivering mound of Tyranny has been laid before us. It is time for all good men to thrust their freedom into the yearning valley of injustice.
We are faced with the unkempt taint of Socialism, its hairs tickling the nose of liberty. You have two choices, like our founders. Will you press your lips against the moist lips of freedom? Or will you, on your knees, drive your tongue into the foul, lightly haired hole of authoritarianism?
Our founders made this choice once before, and they, together, licked the alphabet into the opening of freedom until our nation spasmed into existence. The question is, are our jaws strong enough for the long and arduous path to freedom? When your cheeks ache and freedom says, "forget about it", will you stop?
I share these fears, our fears. I do not know where this will end. But, I do know where it will start. It will start with our pristine, untouched bags of tea. We will cradle these sacks of tea, brother standing with brother, fingers gently tickling each other’s bags, pinky fingers roaming into darkness. We will stand, shoulder to shoulder; those who are comfortable with it with their shirts off, and dip our bags into the waters of the constitution.
And after, as we rub coconut oil into each other’s thighs, the enemies of America will know where we stand.
Now is the time.