Please forgive me if this is somewhat rambling but it has been something I've been ruminating on for a few days. One of the arguments against gay marriage that I've seen brought up a number of times is that allowing gay marriage infringes on people's freedom of religion. To me that is a huge misunderstanding of what freedom of religion entails
I feel very blessed to live in a country where I and everyone else can have their own religious beliefs and (within reason) can practice it how they choose. No one forces me to attend services on Sunday, or any other day. No one forces me to pray a certain way or to believe any certain thing. I have the right to my beliefs and, thanks to freedom of speech, I can also speak freely about my beliefs. That really isn't something to take for granted.
But that doesn't mean I have the right to enforce my beliefs on others. I don't have the right to make someone wear a cross or say the Lord's Prayer. I don't have the right to force a Muslim woman to stop wearing a headscarf or prevent any Muslim from conducting their daily prayers towards Mecca.
Similarly, when I take a job I have to ensure that I can do all aspects of the job in good conscience. If not then I need to find a new job. I don't have the right to refuse to aspects of my job just because it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Yes, the employer should make reasonable accommodations but I also took the job of my free will - no one made me. As so I shouldn't expect the world to order itself based on what I think is right.
And that seems to be something that is missing in the discussion. Just because something you think is immoral is legal doesn't mean that it shouldn't be legal. Nor does it mean it is infringing on your moral beliefs. It just means that we live a pluralistic society and our laws need to be based on reasons that aren't based in religion. And there is no rational reason to deny same-sex couples the same right to marry that heterosexual couples do. As long as there is no law saying religious institutions have to conduct the same-sex marriages then there is no religious infringement.
John Stewart said that it seemed like the people on the right were confusing tyranny with losing. And here it seems like they are doing the same thing. They don't like the policy, their objection is based on their religious beliefs and therefore their religious freedoms are being infringed. And that isn't so. But until we can get around that it will be very difficult to engage in any constructive dialogue with opponents of gay marriage.
Freedom of religion is a very precious thing. But it is also a frustrating thing because it means people aren't always going to agree with you and that sometimes things are going to happen that you don't agree with. It's part of life. What prevents things from deteriorating into a no holds barred fight is understanding that and trying to be respectful of people who disagree. Maybe someday we can get to that point.