hi my name is cleetus van damme and i'm running for president in 2012 for the republicans and i want to appeal to my core consituents in the republican party. here are my main issues please tell me if i should change any positions. i think these policy statements will win me many votes, though acorn and rev. pfleiger may steal them from me:
obama and acorn and terrorists and the homosexuals
barrack husein obama was trained by acorn and he in turn funneled millions of terrorist dollars back to them to fix the vote. they're just paying him back because his father trained him in the practices of muslim, which influence his radical black nationalist sympathies, as espoused by reverand pfleiger and jeremiah wright. don't believe obamas book because bill ayers wrote obamas book. the hollywood homosexuals raised the rest of his money and now hes paying them back by supporting gay marriage and quotas that require gay adoption and forced adoption of illegal immigrants (similar to busing programs in the 1950s to end misegination)
obama is a socialist
he is a socialist and a fascist, and he attacks the military veterans as terrorists, refuses to salute the flag pin, and won't visit troops instead favoring gyms. he wants socialized healthcare with government doctors spending half their time experimenting on fetuses and half their time giving care to illegal immigrants. he favors the heroic hard working image of illegals because he was not born in america and was born as a dual citizen of indonesia, kenya, and the royal kingdom of hawaii (he was born before statehood). he hates his white half of his family, which explains why he supports abortion (he wishes he were aborted instead of mixed race). his election is illegal and millions of americans are bringing lawsuits to reject his election. why else would obama be paying lawyers to defend himself unless he was guilty? why won't he release his birth certificate?
obama supports the illegal immigrants
they are destroying our way of life and our society and taking our jobs and our money and our tax dollars and they will not stop until the english language is banned and even english translators are banned. the multiculturalists will make sure that we don't even have a langauge eventually because language is not political correct unless it relates to the various practices of homosexuals, which will be taught in textbooks to three year olds.
obama raised taxes
he has raised taxes already by trillions already. millions of americans are protesting his huge tax increases on their hard working families at tea parties, and they have succeeded in turning the tide against this once popular president, since he is the most polarizing president of all time. he has crushed the economy with his tax increases, causing unemployment and the stock market crash. the likelyhood of obamas election caused all of our economic problems. thew rost of obamas economic policies will be when he establishes a shared global currency, which people will be forced to use or else they'll be sent to fema camps. not only that but the new currency will be paid to volunteers as mandated by the service america act by ted kennedy and warren hatch.
obama hates people
obambi hates veterans, whites, and americans (except for african-americans and muslim americans). he opposes state succession, which is a patriotic form of dissent against a government. obama will take all of our guns and give them to acorn, who will patrol the streets and round up citizens to send to fema camps to be reeducated, forced (paid) to volunteer, and then put to work hiding crosses at public events. the worst part is that george soros will pay for lots of this, as he is already funding acorn.
obama is from the chicago machine
obama is a chicago political machine, with strong ties to corrupt chicago politicians like blagojevich and special prosecutor f scott fitzgerald. the true reason for obama being elected was a strong alliance between acorn and the chicago machine. acorn profited for years off of giving loans to undeserving people like illegal immigrants and minorities, all while installing obama in the state government, the senate, and the presidency by manipulating the vote. by registering millions of mickey mouses and dead people in many states, acorn stole the election, because they all voted millions of times for obama in the worst voter fraud ever. eventually acorn will be brought to justice, and we'll find out that obama and rev flieger were behind all of it.
obama is a cold calculating wimp
but what is really evil about obama is that he is such a cold calculating naive figure. obama's machine takes names and destroys people, while simultaenously allowing foreign dictators to do what the please and apologizing to countries like venezuela for our embargo of their country. he won't let us drill for oil because rabid democrats like t-bone pickets want to rely on wind for power. how can we have wind if the earth is warming? wouldn't it be cooling if it was windy? this makes no cents. plus look at how they destroyed sarah palin just because she's a woman who didn't kill her babies or give them to acorn for experimentation.
obama makes us less safe because he won't torture
obama has made it illegal to torture terrorists or even to question them before a trial (by liberal judges) even if they had the secret code to a huge laser from destroying the moon. by that time the damage will be done and our country will be destroyed. we can't even tickle the suspect without reading them their rights.
do you think i will win votes in the 2012 primary? should i focus more on a return to conservative values, reagan, and proecting from the gays and their highway from mexico to canada?