Data miners are being sent out by the Great Orange Satan to collect the most personal data available, the Daily Kos community members' User IDs.
This pertinent information, hidden and only revealed by Those in the Know (TitK), can be of great use or great abuse by those in power.
Today a lackey of the DKos community checked out my UID and entered it into one of those newfangled handheld computers, thumbs moving at a blinding speed as they touched little bumps arranged like a computer keyboard. From there I can only surmise it went through the aether into a giant supercomputer used to track DKos community members as they stroll through the blogosphere.
And the orange-clad acolyte claimed it was for some sort of 'census,' as he spouted words such as 'meta,' 'tags,' teh rulz, 'pooties' and, most curiously, 'woozles.'
Now this UID, ostensibly a number, can tell a lot about a person. Like when they joined the site. How old they are. How much they like their lawn. Who their favorite politician is.
God knows, Kos could use this info for direct marketing purposes. Soon personalized ads may be cropping up based on your UID. Say ads for grass seed, Malox or DVD box sets of 'Matlock.'
Or wholesale deletion of UIDs and DKos identities in some sort of witch hunt for those who supported that maniac Dean.
But it gets much worse. In a desperate hunt for my UID,I discovered that the Great Orange Satan had kept track of every single frackin' comment I have made on this site! Imagine what someone could do with this information.
A potential employer could look me up and see such gems as this: Linky
My prediction ... (0+ / 0-)
Cubs in 5
(Me wakes up from a three-year nightmare in which the Cubs were a mere five outs from the World Series against the Red Sox. Good thing it did not happen, a Cubs vs. Red Sox World Series IS a sign of the apocalypse.)
Real prediction (he said, realizing it is 2006):
Tigers in 4.
Why? Cause the Cubs actually owned the sucky Cards this year with an 11-8 record.
by greggle on Sat Oct 21, 2006 at 02:30:38 AM PDT
And any reasonable employer would come to the conclusion of 'Longtime Cub fan loser,' and put the resume on the reject pile.
So Kos, take my UID and shove it!
UPDATE: Yup, it's late and all you East Coasters will have to deal with this as you wake up all blurry-eyed, drinking your coffee, expecting to read reasonable, insightful commentary on the day/night's events. Tough. Shit. Get. Over. It. The f'ing noobs made me do it.
UPDATE: Oh god, did I really push the publish diary button? Yup. Good morning.