Yesterday, we had the second to last doctors appointment before the official due date of our daughter.
If you squint you can see my daughter Mara's face.
I haven't written about my impending parenthood in quite some time, actually since I found out we were having a baby. The reality is that for the past few months it had not really sunk in. Sure, I knew we were having a baby. There was just something about it and to a point there still is, that wasn't quite tangible.
For the last 8 and a half months I have been, like most Fathers, on the sidelines. I knew my baby was 'in there'. I could feel her kicking and moving but I could not and never will fully understand what my wife is going through throughout this process. I've known all along my baby was on the way. We are now sure that she is a girl and after seeing her face for the first time I am more sure than ever she will be the most beautiful thing in my life. And I am terrified!
I have always known I wanted kids. It's just always been a part of me. However, now that the actuality is meeting the fantasy of it, I am scared out of my wits. Although I am confident that I will be a good father and provide the needs and wants of my child (or children) it is the actuality of doing so regardless of all else that is daunting.
The cats tell me I'm paranoid. The dogs tell me I'm crazy. The wife tells me to stop with he cussing and dirty jokes (not really, but it sounded good).
My daughter will soon be here to show me the beauty of life in all its simplest forms, and to give me the headaches that only a daughter can give a father. I look forward to teaching her the lessons I have learned (some the hard way) and to giving her a life full of happiness and love.
Over on my Facebook page I have been asking my friends to give their predictions as to what day she will be born (the due date is July 12th) and how much she will weigh, so feel free to add your predictions in the comments.