Pinecone's mind is reeling. His reality totally shaken. His faith in his senses stripped. His belief in the basic integrity of his memory shot all to hell.
And what (or who) could have done this to him?
That triple threat (lawyer, dentist, real estate agent) from Cali-crazia, Orly Taitz.
Come below to see how this brilliant woman has unhinged the normally unflappable Pinecone...
Orly spoke ... and Orly said that Obama doesn't even have a birth certificate from Hawaii ... he only has a "Certificate of Live Birth." And what the heck is that? Whatever it is it certainly isn't a birth certificate. That's for sure. I know that. Cause Orly told me so.
So I got to thinking .... there is this young woman that has been in Pinecone's family for some 20+ years. Pinecone thought that she was his daughter. He thought that he was living in Hawaii when conception occurred. He thought that Ms. Pinecone showed evidence over the subsequent nine months - while living in the same abode in Hawaii as Pinecone. He even thought that he was in the delivery room when said now young woman, then new born infant was born. He thought he took child and mother home from the hospital located in Hawaii.
But - if nothing else, Pinecone has a scientific mind that depends on evidence. And so - into the trusty filing cabinet. Rifling through the drawer where the file labeled "Childrens' ID/Legal Papers was stashed (right next to all of our info on our airline mileage clubs).
And ... the feared documentation was found ... and it said ....
"CERTIFICATE OF LIVE BIRTH"
Pinecone has no birth certificate for this young woman that has been in his life lo these many years. Clearly - she was not born in Hawaii - she has no BIRTH CERTIFICATE, only a worthless Nigerian/Kenyan/Some country in Africa or elsewhere forgery that is so poorly done it says "CERTIFICATE OF LIVE BIRTH."
Pinecone's world has crashed around him. He is left in tears, emotionally drained. But ever resilient and searching for some shred of goodness to come from all this, remembers ....
There is a wedding in the near future. It is the responsibility of the Father of the Bride to pay for said wedding. If Pinecone is not the Father of the Bride ... then ... Pinecone remains financially solvent!! Money remains for that long planned vacation with Ms. Pinecone (and without usurper female child in the picture.
At the end, there is in fact joy in Mudville.
At least in Birther-Bizzarro-World.
In Pinecone's real world, he will be watching his beautiful Hawaiian born daughter, with a CERTIFICATE OF LIVE BIRTH, get married in the near future.
And the Ms. and I will spend our money gladly, and still take our long planned vacation (and still without the daughter, who will be honeymooning - where else but in her beautiful state of birth).
Aloha to all, even the crazies.