I originally posted this as a comment in a parenting diary, but with back-to-school just around the corner, I thought it might contain a few useful considerations for a broader audience.
First off, I’m not only a teacher, but also a Mom with a 13 yo son. He "has" a cell phone, albeit it is an AT&T Go Phone without email, txt msging, or camera, and it lives in the kitchen cupboard, and it only gets handed out on an as-needed basis (e.g. He’s away from home in FL, on a band trip).
Why have we as parents decided to be so restrictive with this modern-day, wonderful piece of technology?
If you are going back and forth about whether to give or not to give a cell phone to your child as part of their back-to-school accouterments, I’ve provided a list of some things to consider or at least be aware of.
As a middle school teacher, I regularly see uses of cell phones that I'm guessing many parents would not condone or may not have considered.
- Students falling asleep or half lidded attention in early morning classes. When questioned why they are behaving so out of character, I hear over-and-over, I was up until the wee hours txting with friends. A school smart solution is creating a place for the phone to go bed OUTSIDE your child's bedroom.
- You've perhaps seen the news accounts about sexting? Well, it's NOT an unusual situation, at all, among a few bad apples from bad homes in some other school. We have at least 1-2 incidents a year involving 11-13 yo's in our lovely suburban district -- and yeah, honor students who go to Christian Prayer Breakfasts have been involved. Which I may just be old fashioned among some parents, but I don't want my son getting a picture of a naked 12 yo in his inbox during his math class! PS I teach a government class in which I give a lecture on txting and sxting and kid's rights re: cell phones (as in lack there of). Students are shocked, shocked I tell you to realize that the phone is not THEIRS per se, and they have no right to privacy regarding their txt msges since the phone is under their parent's contract. I see lots of panicked faces as they realize parents (or school officers with a probable cause warrant) can get a print out of the messages, which do get stored for a time. Just saying that your teen may appreciate knowing this.
- Students harassing each other with language and messages that would make a sailor blush. This seems to especially be the case among nice little girls. Cell phones provide a level of anonymity and "spreadability" that makes the common, olden days', girl group spats seem like tea parties. Sorting out the resulting hurt feelings can take weeks, involve parents, the school security officer, and of course, the girls' studies suffer significantly during the cyber-drama.
- Cell phones and hoodies! Guess what? The kids can txt with the phones in hoodie and pants pockets. If you'd like your children to be paying attention to what is going on in class, then, you may want to take some prudent actions to ensure the phone is really, actually OFF during school hours. OR, better yet, leave the phones at home. Schools usually allow students to make calls home for reasonable purposes and take parent messages to students during school hours.
- Cyber-cheating is growing. It is not that much of an issue at our middle school, but I hear it is becoming a real problem at the HS. For mid-terms and finals exams, it is an auto F, no exceptions, for a phone out or fiddled with during or after the exams. I run a collection before exams to stave off any temptations - not that ANY of my fine, young scholars would ever be so tempted, mind you. LOL PS On this one, even if you completely trust in the honor of your honor roll student, having a cell phone during testing can place honor students in a bullying situations. A less well prepared, more popular or larger student can lean on your student to "help" them out via cyber-cheating under the threat of shunning or beating them up. And, even a best friend can put a good student in a cyber-cheating pickle with the teen soul withering lines, "I thought you were my friend. Do you WANT me to get grounded?" School Smart Approach: Phone stays home on major test days.
- "I HAVE to have my phone so I can talk with my parents!" I wish I had a dollar for every time one of us has heard THAT line in response to confiscating a phone being used DURING class. After assuring students that it’s unlikely that their "parents" actually want them to be having txt msging marathons DURING science lab etc., we send the phone to the office for retrieval after school. So, all you legions of parents out there who absolutely insist on having hours long txting sessions with your teens while they are handling acids and bases in their science classes, please, call the school office to give your teen those hundreds of emergency messages you need to send them during classtime. A School Smart approach for phones that may be needed for family coordination AFTER school: If you restrict the access of in-coming and out-going numbers to family numbers, then the phone is readily available for family needs, but is not a marathon texting temptation for teens during school hours with their
friends "parents."
- Theft – Perhaps one of the saddest trends I’ve seen occurring over the last few years is the number of students getting arrested for stealing phones and iPods. For many otherwise good kids, that bright, shiny piece of NEW technology sitting in that open purse is just way too much for their impulse control and judgment. Their hands move before their brain thinks. They only want to "look at it," "try it out," "see what it does that their phone doesn’t do," and "they always meant to give it back, eventually" ... What a mess! Too often, we end up with a sobbing child (and a 15 yo suddenly looks like a 5 yo when a stolen cell phone is called, and it goes off in their pocket or locker ... No, they are NOT usually very good thieves, either) sitting next to their red faced parents in the office with a police officer filling out forms ... Or alternatively, no one does get caught and the expensive thing is gone, leaving the student in trouble with their parents and their parents out a considerable amount of money. And of course, such incidents have a negative impact on learning for a while for all involved.
- Finally, no. EVERY OTHER KID DOES NOT HAVE ONE! We are actually seeing a decided shift away from young teens having them, at school. We have seen an increase in phone toting tweens right after Winter Break for the last 2 years, but then, we saw the phones vanish in March when report cards came out with significant drops in grades. Now, I'd estimate that only about 1/3 of our students are bringing them to school, at all.
I know, I know that YOUR child is totally trustworthy and mature and responsible ... I'll be honest - mine isn't. He's 13 years old. He does NOT yet have the judgment to handle everything the internet and cell phones make available. So he "has" a phone, but we control its capabilities, use, and access. As he matures, we will gradually increase his freedom of use with it; though, I doubt it will ever sleep in his room at night, at least until he's off to college. We will also be letting him know that we may pull the records on it (I doubt we'll do that, but we'll be retaining our right to do so with the phone that is under contract in our names). Some kids can handle them just fine; others not so well.
In the world pre-cell phones, our family had a phone on the kitchen wall. We were welcome to use it with a few limitations: No calls were allowed in or out after 9pm, time on the phone was limited to a 1/2 hour per call with no more than 2 calls a day. We survived and even read a few books and interacted directly with peers. LOL I guess as a family we are currently leaning a bit more in the direction of how we grew up with regular old phones, and plan on easing slowly into more cyber freedom as we see our son's needs and maturity develop.
I hope this hasn’t come across as preachy or as if all teens are doomed if given a cell phone. Really, that was not my intent. I have just seen many parents caught unaware about what could happen until there was real trouble.
A cell phone can be a very useful piece of modern technology when mixed with parental love and common sense, but it is NOT a simple toy like a Gameboy. Not every child in the school has one, and your child will not die a slow social death if they don’t get an iPhone, with every app, hooked up to the internet as part of their back-to-school gear. In fact, the tide seems to be going the other way as more and more parents realize the potential hazards and risks attendant with unrestricted cell phone use during the school year.