The title of a recently recommended diary rubbed me the wrong way. I explained why in comments, but I really want to hear what other Kossacks think, and I am open to learning that I am wrong.
Please attend my pseudo-scholarly discussion after the fold, and then comment. If I'm being uptight, well . . . I want to know. I don't like uptight people so much, so I'd rather not be one.
My thesis is that it is inherently homophobic and misogynist to say that something "sucks dick" if it is bad, or that it is like "getting fucked" or "fucked in the ass." These formulations are common parlance; they take lots of forms: they "bent us over"; we're "getting fucked" by so-and-so.
Warning, there will be some explicit language to follow. (But you've probably guessed that already.)
I think these formulations are "heteronormative." They take a heterosexual male point of view.
In accordance with that point of view, the language assumes that societally condoned heterosexual male behavior is good, and other sexual behavior is bad--and therefore is an appropriate metaphor for mistreatment. If heterosexual men enjoy it, it is good. If heterosexual men do not enjoy it, it's bad. Who sucks dick? Straight women and gay men. (Of course not all of us....) Who gets fucked? Straight women and gay men. So those acts are slang for mistreatment.
But there's no reason it couldn't have been the other way around. Such as: "these people on healthcare are really sucking our dicks. They're really riding us off," etc. etc. One might object that sucking dick and getting fucked are different because they don't provide immediate pleasure. But my guess is that most of us either have first-hand experience or observation which indicates the opposite.
In fact, "sucking my dick" is slang for treating someone nearly too well. I have many good friends for whom an exact opposite formulation would be appropriate. Something like:
ClaytonBen: Did they treat you well there?
Friend of ClaytonBen: Hell yeah, they let me suck their dicks.
ClaytonBen: Excellent. You'll be going back, I take it?
Earlier, I said that there is no reason it couldn't have been the other way around. But I guess there's every reason. We'd have to be living in a Matriarchy. (And of course, if we were, we'd probably already have great national healthcare.)
Some poster objected that the "bending us over" comment is a metaphor for mistreatment because it suggests rape, rather than gay sex. But if the violence of forced sex is the issue, then it seems to me the formulation could still be imagined in terms consonant with societally condoned heterosexual male behavior. Such as: "they're holding us down and sucking our dicks," say; or "they're riding our dicks until we're sore," etc. etc. I know that sounds really silly.... But that's my point: it's a culturally loaded silliness.
We really don't have a language to discuss men being forced into normative heterosexually male behavior. I suspect that's because, as a society, we can't imagine it. (I'm not sure on this point: I'll look forward to reading comments. Is it so weird to imagine someone, say, forcing oral sex on a man? Can that happen?)
One further note: Something "sucks dick" or "they're bending us over": the phrases are funny. I mean, they're funny to me (sometimes). But I wonder if the humor comes from societal discomfort with receptive sex. As with racism and classism, it's not always so easy to figure out how deep our cultural prejudices go.... I'm not suggesting we all become language cops--and I'm certainly not suggesting that my language isn't as loaded with ignorance as anybody else's. But I am suggesting ... heck, actually, I'm suggesting anything at all. I'm just looking to hear what others think.
One further, further note: I know this isn't about healthcare, but I thought the title was funny.