I've been thinking about what Obama should do on Tuesday. It seems likely that he will stick to very noncontroversial turf with the kids but I would like to propose an alternative strategy that would accomplish three important goals.
I think he should post the text of a perfectly normal, inspirational but uncontroversial speech on Monday. Parents and wing-nuts alike will read it and be forced to concede that there is no reason to keep their kids home from school the next day.
Then Obama should give the speech. Word for word. And with about 10 minutes to go, he should calmly reach into his coat pocket and take out a Lucky Strike. He should light it and smoke it at a gentleman's pace for the rest of his speech. Think Don Draper on Mad Men.
Needless to say, people will go ape shit. When they do, he should flatly deny that it ever happened. "I didn't smoke that day. That's crazy."
They will produce the video. He (and Gibbs) will say. "That's a forgery. How could you believe that the President would do such a crazy thing in front of millions of children?"
This will accomplish three important things:
- Piss off Republicans.
- Give the Birthers a taste of their own absurd medicine.
- Teach kids that smoking is cool.