Face it folks: He's going to break our hearts on Wednesday.
The man who so many of us on this site (not all) revere.
The man who changed the world.
The man who captivates us when he speaks.
The man we've cheered during his triumphs,
and held close to our hearts during his hardships.
He's going to break our hearts.
He's not going to deliver what we want.
He's not going to deliver what we've been sure is coming.
He's not going to deliver what we feel we have coming.
And no Reality Distortion Field is going to change that.
That's right folks, Steve Jobs is going to disappoint us Wednesday.
There won't be any Beatles music coming to the iTunes Music Store.
And that amazing touch screen tablet? The one that touches you back? Keep dreaming.
And that rumored improvement to Apple TV? You know, the one that lets you download any Billy Mays endorsed product right through your freakin' TV? That ain't gonna happen either. Sham-whoop-de-doo.
Just some little tweaks to the App Store.
A camera added to a couple of the iPods.
Big freakin' deal.
I bet he doesn't even show.
I just might burn my mock turtleneck.