No, really.
30 minutes ago, I was just about to take a bite of my fish taco (a real fish taco, droogie) when the phone rang.
"Hi, is icono...I'm sorry, how do you pronounce your name?"
I sounded it out for him. "Who's this?" I ask.
"Good evening, iconoclastic cat, my name is Sam and I'm calling from the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee..."
Now, I dispute this, but my wife says my response was loud and obnoxious:"Oh, you! I want to talk to you!"
"Uh, oh, that doesn't sound good," he said.
"Why, have you been getting some friction about donating to the DSCC?"
"Oh, yeah, about two out of 10 people say they've switched to the Republican Party. Which is why we need your support, since we stand to lose several..."
"Hold on," I snapped. "You mean to tell me that two out of ten people are switching parties? Why exactly would they do that."
"Well, it's mostly about healthcare, and the plan that the President..."
"The President doesn't have the legislation! That's in the hands of the people to whom you want to give my money! People like Max Baucus and Harry Reid! Max Baucus acually let a lobbyist write the damn Finance bill! Wh..."
"Sir," he said, "I understand, but we're trying to raise money for progressive Democrats..."
"Really."
"Yes, sir, And we stand to lose eighteen Senate seats..."
"Oh, come on! There's no way that will happen! And some of those we really could stand to lose, like Reid..." (at this point, I went on a rant that Mrs. Icon Cat says went on for about ten minutes.)
"But, sir, if we lose even one seat, that will be the wormhole the Republicans will use to take the majority..."
"Hold on. A wormhole? What's this wormhole theory of yours?"
"Well, it could give them a way in, and then the Republicans will get a hold on the Senate..."
"Like in Hellboy. The first one."
"What, sir?"
"Never mind. Listen: I have always voted. And donated. And volunteered. But the Senate is the problem. I will donate directly to progressives, but..."
"Sir, I really need to move on to my next number."
"Okay. But tell them what I said!"
click
Mrs. Icon Cat, from the couch, said,"You kept him on the phone for that long and you didn't even donate?"
"No!"
She shook her head. "Cold. Just, cold."