"387lbs!"
That's what stared up at me from the scale, those black impartial lines without conscious or policy behind its methods. The job of the scale is to tell me the basic truth that I was way over weight by 100 pounds or more and something needed to be done by me to tip the scale.
You see I'm a male, have a family, and I'm getting back into the fitness trail again after a very long absence. The one reason I wasn't in the gym in the first place was I couldn't afford it. Thankfully because of the sale offered by the gym I'm a new member as of 10/6/09. I started working out for the first time that Tuesday and have since worked out since then. I was going to give myself a two a day break and started up again on the weekend. An inner voice willed me out of bed at near 6am in the morning to get in the gym and work out.
Did I mention I hate working out and I hate doing all the exercising?
I also hate dieting too! I love to eat! I love food! But I don't love it as much when you got three cold figures staring at you telling me I'm not Jughead Jones (of Archie Comics fame) or Shaggy from Scooby Doo. I eat and it doesn't drop easily for me. Plus, I'm 6-7 so I'm tall and fat--a lovely combination. I can mask it and believe the lies others tell me all the time: "You're a big man! You can hide the extra weight better than others." "Oh, you are a growing boy, you need to eat." Please, I'm 44 and I think the only thing growing is my weight size.
I wish I can say I'm doing this for vanity's sake; I wish I could say I got to get me "rock hard abs" to impress the girls. Truthfully, I'm ashamed and angry I let myself go the way I did. I'm responsible for it and I have no one to blame but myself for letting this happen. So this "battle" this constant drive to help make the pounds go away is my way of contributing to the health care dilemma. It's up to me to stop whatever unforeseen health problems that face me in the future.
My "come to Jesus" moment was when I started realizing I was outgrowing my size 54 pants. Sure I was tall, but the truth was even my lower back and joints hurt every time I moved or ran with my daughter. I waddled when I walked; I rolled my eyes when my sweetie wanted to walk around the walk path in the park we go to; I found excuses to stay on the couch than get up and move around. Those little things got to me and made me realize I needed to drop this or I wouldn't live long enough to see my little girl go to college, get married, or have my grandchildren.
One of the other reasons was my girl's love for soccer. Even though her team is losing more than its winning she has fun out there and plays hard. She may be a "girlie-girl" but when it comes to be on the field she gives it her all. I "volunteered" to be one of the coaches on the team and thought all I needed to do was just sit back and let the head coach do his job. As of this writing I'm helping with drills, I'm setting out cones, heck, I even played in the parents/coaches game. (May I remind you, I'm 6-7 and usually play basketball!!) I just wanted to be there for my little girl so she knows daddy is giving his all for her.
That's when reality came a knocking.
When you see the U.S. soccer club go to the World Cup next year remember these men are some of the best shape athletes around. They are better conditioned, more agile, and flexible than most athletes and it shows. Just playing against the coaches showed me a) I was out of my league and b) I REALLY needed to get fit again.
I make a living as a courier driver. You think going in and out of buildings, climbing lifting and carrying would work me out good. It does, but not if you are stopping at every convenient store, truck stop, or fast food place to grab whatever junk I'd put in my body. "I don't have time to eat healthy...it's cheaper to eat fast food...I wish I could work out, but I just can't..." With each excuse I gained and gained till I started looking like some of the trucker drivers who don't take good care of themselves.
So when the opportunity came for me to sign up at this gym I took it. I'm glad I did too. The cost of the gym membership without the sale was $100. I can't afford it up front so I was glad for any discount they offered. Last Tuesday was my first work out and I've been working out three days on and one day off. I'm in week two and as of this writing I have lost seven of my 387lbs. It's a start, a good start. I got a long way to my goal of being under 300lbs. but I hope to reach it and be able to ride the amusement rides with my daughter at King's Island near Cincinnati.
By now you're wondering why am I giving you my fitness status on a political blog? I guess the one other motivating factor is I have tried to keep current with the health care debate. I've heard both sides of whether public option is viable or not? How tight of rules should we level on health insurance providers? These are good and powerful questions I've seen for the last few weeks and months. (for the record I want public option on the table period, end of subject.)
So what does fitness have to do with the debate?
Well before I picked up my first copy of Men's Fitness in years I thought hard about what my role would be in this battle of health care. Sure, the question of not "if" but "when" we have it will help me down the road when my body is in need of the best care in America. However, to place my entire trust in the health care system of America alone is fool hearty. At some point I need to come to grips with the fact health care begins with me. Keith Olberman said it best in his Special Comment on Countdown the other week about how the debate about health care is a debate about or deep fears about death and how we face it. So this debate goes at the heart of what can we do to prolong our life till that day comes? Isn't it really our choice (to some extent) of how the last chapter of our books end? "Here lies Abacab! He wanted to be in better shape, but couldn't find the time. How sad that he missed the face he had all the time in the world and not enough faith to believe it." Fear kept me from the gym. Fear kept me from eating right. Fear kept me from realizing my potential. Fear keeps me from putting my dream into action.
When I picked up my Men's Fitness the other day there was our Commander-In-Chief proudly on the cover talking about health care issues. He works out six times a day because it helps with stress relief, keeps him healthy, and helps me be physically fit to play his favorite sport: basketball. I wish I could say I'm adding fitness into my life because of Pres. Barrack Obama, but not really. He's a big influence, but not my sole selling point.
The editor-in-chief of Men's Fitness echoed the same thing I said about how health care really boils down to "us" taking it upon ourselves to stay healthy and fit. It only cemented my resolve to lose this weight, get fit, and prolong my life. But their magazine wasn't the selling point for me to get fit again.
The issue of fitting into my clothes was up there too, but I didn't have it as bad as actor/comedian Frank Payne. I don't know him personally, but his show on Discovery Health "My Big Fat Body" woke me up again.
Frank Payne's disccusion regarding his weight
Because of seeing how many calories he put into his body it only cemented the fact I really need to watch what I put into my body. Frank put in on a 24 hour day (as the cameras recorded) a whopping 1,5000 + calories. That floored me! I couldn't eat the same helpings he did--two large pizzas, 10 pc chicken dinner, a bowl of ice cream, a hoagie sandwich, and four double cheeseburgers. I know I could pack away a pizza if I wanted to and turn around and snack all night without one ounce of getting off my fat behind and move. But his story inspired me big time. I have the program saved on my Tivo because anytime I want to give up or go back to the old life I'll look at this and realize "this is my life we're talking about.
All of what I'm saying is I think the health care issues and debates are vital. I'm not telling anyone don't call your Congress person, write e-mails and letters, or talk to your neighbors about the issues. I'm not saying we can't have lively debates here on Daily Kos regarding health care. But in my view, I think Pres. John F. Kennedy said it best that we should "ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country." I can do 30 minutes four time a week (I'll do more as the weeks progress). I can get up at 6am in the morning and work out at the gym. I can forsake the fast food, the fried foods, and the processed snacks for some healthier choices. These things I can do to take the rug from under the health care providers and insurance lobbyist feet. It's about taking health back in my hands and making a choice to turn the corner and get back to a healthier life. No gimmicks. No quick fixes. Just a slow and steady life of fitness so its not a burden but a friend.
My seven-year-old little girl was in the van with me when I told her how much I was loosing and why I needed to get some more water for my cooler. "I'm proud of you dad," she said out of the blue. "For what?" "For making the effort to get better, that's all," she said. When I hear the encouragements, pats on the back, and high fives from friends and family it is a boost in the right direction. It's the kind of thing that keeps me going when it would be easy to go on the couch and crash.
Let me point out one more time: I HATE WORKING OUT! But, I like the benefits it gives me in the long run. This is one love hate relationship I can live with.
Update: I'll keep in touch with updates on how I'm doing and any other thoughts regarding the health care issue, weight and fitness, and where we can make a difference in our communities to see our neighbors and families get healthy. I know there are many out there who are clinically obese or overweight. Our children are now looking like mini gastric bi-pass candidates. Any health care debate must include how we, as a nation, can stem the tied of weight gain and lack of fitness and get back to becoming one of the healthiest nations on the planet.