I wanted to reach out the Kos community and update my story about where I am in life, and I am afraid to say that my well being is, umm, not so well.
For those who follow my diary, you know back in June two major things happened. I lost my job, and my mother had a major health crisis, one which changed both our lifestyles.
It was difficult to get my mother to go to rehab for her compression fracture in her back, but eventually she went. At the same time, I had to take over all her affairs, which I decided moving into her house at the time was the most prudent. I also had to find her an assisted living facility, hire a financial planner, and also try to find employment for myself. I never collected unemployment, because I could not legitimately for work full time during this period either.
Now if we fast forward a couple of months, I have gathered all the requisite documentation for her long term care insurance, but after submitting it, they turned her claim down. "Not sick enough". She has a chronic rare cancer, and limited mobility, but because she can still put on her clothes, work a spoon & fork, and do toileting herself, she doesn't qualify. So she can't rely on her insurance to pay for her stay at the assisted living home. She can't afford her expenses for her house and for assisted living, and I can't help out, because I don't have a job.
Like many people, my mother finds the market value of her house to be less than what she paid for it, and try as we may, we can't possibly sell the house without taking a loss. This is still the story today.
So November 1st, I helped my mother move home. As of that date, I am functioning as an assisted living worker. I am making meals, cleaning, getting groceries, mail, and running endless errands. While I am grateful to have a roof over my head, and free food, I find myself in a very difficult position. I try not to push my mother to do things, but she wants to live life like she did in the assisted living home, and that just can't happen. The situation is very fragile, and I can only feel the next crisis is just around the corner, and I will end up homeless.
I program computers. I have a 4 year degree and 9+ years experience. But, anyone who is in the IT field will tell you the depression we are in has been hard on IT. Everyone I talk to tells me this was a 'non-existent' summer for IT employment. Don't I know it. I have had two interviews since June, and obviously no success. I want a job badly. I need a job badly. For many reasons. Meaningful work is a human right.
I looked up a position I used to hold in Boston a few years back. To my surprise, it's open, but I can't go back there. Not because I don't want it, or they wouldn't give it to me, but because I am too far away now. I am living in more rural New Hampshire now, and while it's beautiful and easier than city life, I find my options even more limited.
So each day I try to get in a few hours of job searching and creating work samples in, followed by many domestic chores and small talk with someone I love, but find it very hard to live with.
Today we fight for health care basics, and even that much is a long, bloody battle where rich people who's livelihood is made by diminishing the lives of others by denying them that care. But we never talk about the welfare of the elderly or managing the transition from independent living to the last days of life. Something we will ALL face, but yet plan so poorly for.
I am gripping the sides, trying to hang on.
UPDATE
Thank you all for the wonderful ideas and bless you all as well for your tender thoughts and also for your difficult stories. Keep talking.