It has come to my attention that people with UID's above 150k are suspected by some of being "paid shills" for various interests - the health care industry, the DLC, Oncologists for Tanning, etc.
Intrigued, I took a gander at my own UID (well, to be honest, I initially misread it as IUD, and was halfway through a phone conversation with my gynecologist to find out the serial number on that thing she installed in me a while back before I realized my transposition - and boy, will I have to apologize to the doc for implying that she's a shoddy record-keeper), and lo and behold! Turns out that my UID is above the magic 150k trustworthiness cutoff.
It's true. I am a fully qualified shill-in-waiting.
Imagine my shock to realize that a potential horde of shills is in our midst. (Seriously, could this site be any more edifying and enriching? For instance, before dKos, I had never thrown anyone under a bus. Now, I do it every day, and I'm in the best shape of my life.) Yes, I felt a shiver of apprehension as I imagined shills by the bushelful reading what I was reading; secretive, unseen presences bent on subtly bending the arc of opinion in the favor of their sinister masters.
And I thought... Hey, I could do that!
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Who the hell are you? Have you ever even written a diary before? What's next on the recent diary list..." Heh-heh! Such a kidder! But seriously, I've given this a full six-and-a-half minutes of careful cogitation between checking my email, eating lunch, and using little loops of Scotch tape to comically stick my pens to the wall.
And I've decided to go for it. After all, I could use the money, being a single mom in the big city (well, Portland, but we're big on weird) with a teenager who seems to eat our combined weight three times a day. So, if there are any clandestine anti-progressive "interests" watching, I am please to offer myself as a candidate for shillhood.
Now, I admit I have no experience in shilling. In fact, in all candor, I'm not particularly persuasive. I think I've only managed to get a group of friends to choose my restaurant preference for a lunch date once, and everybody got food poisoning. But I'm confident that I could learn the ancient and noble art of manipulation if you're willing to train. Surely you offer a shill boot camp of some sort.
I will say that I'm fairly adept at stringing together words into competent sentences. If I concentrate, I can make whole paragraphs that more or less make a point. In fact, back in college I used to amuse friends with my talent for mashing the keyboard with my forearm, picking out the what random words had been formed accidentally, and constructing suggestive haiku from them. Not that I'd ever use this technique in a blog, of course. Unless you specifically requested it, and even then, I'd need a guarantee of keyboard replacements as needed.
So step right up, lurking nefarious opinion-movers! The auction block is officially open. I'm LeanneB, your Shill-To-Be!