As the year draws to an end I am trying to post some happy stories. Not just bitch about this or that, cause that is too easy. Today I have a pretty happy story, that is also sad I guess, but happy more then anything (at least to me).
After my father retired from the military he and my mother moved back home to the little Southern Illinois town my family has lived in for generations. Long story short, we're kind of well known in the town cause my family members have made a lot of money and we tend to give it back to the community. My folks kind of live by a phrase that goes something like:
For those much is given, much is expected.
Not long after they moved back an aunt and her partner also moved back from CA where they'd lived for decades. I wouldn't say they are "in your face" gay, but they are pretty open and proud of their 30+ year relationship, as well they should be.
I wasn't so sure how well this was going to work out on multiple levels, cause to say this town is pretty conservative would be an understatement. What starts off as kind of a sad story gets happy in the end. I promise.
When my brother and I (we're the only liberals in the family) heard they were moving back and going to live right around the corner from our parents, we wondered how that was going to play out. We just couldn't imagine our conservative parents "tooling" around town with a gay couple. Heck being a military brat I am pretty sure my parents might have never really had any interaction with an "openly" gay couple. I mean the military kind of looks down on that.
To their credit in their 60s, very set in their ways, I don't think they thought for much more then a few seconds about the fact they were gay. What other people in the town would think of them. They were family. Enough said.
Then things got interesting .....
Now I consider myself a liberal in good standing. I attempt not to stereotype people, but alas I am not perfect. I just kind of assumed a gay couple that lived for decades in San Fran were raging liberals like myself. I'd find they were actually not so liberal and pretty darn religious.
So they asked to go to church with my parents the next Sunday right after they moved back.
There is no other way to say it, my family literally built the church. My great grandfather's construction company built it in the 20s. Even today you can't walk through the front doors, use the wheel chair ramp, sit in a pew, or pick up a Bible and not see a plaque or note saying it was a gift from my family.
I figured if there was any small, rural church where an openly gay couple might be welcome it would be here, if for no other reason then they share my last name.
I would have been wrong. The word my mother used to describe the situation and what unfolded I found very telling.
Shunned.
They were shunned. A meeting was called of the church "elders" to talk about the fact they were given Communion and what should be "done" about them attending services.
Well I am 40. I can count on one hand the times I've seen my father lose his temper. This would be one of those rare cases. He went to that meeting, although he wasn't invited. He said many of the things I've mentioned, our family built the church from the ground up. Folks in the room know the amount of the check he writes each month. That in his will he is giving them a sum of money that would chock a horse.
He said he was doing this cause he wanted to. He didn't expect any special treatment. But it did expect some basic respect. His will was being rewritten as they spoke and the church would never get a single red cent from him or anybody else in his family. I'd like to think he might have thrown in a FUCK YOU, but I am totally sure he didn't.
I am not sure there is anything my parents have ever done I am more proud of then this. To be frank, I didn't think they had it in them. But you know what, when they had a chance to stand up and do something, no matter how small, they did.