Somewhere in Iowa, right now, upon this very evening, two dudes in Des Moines will be cooking dinner together, the two of them, in a kitchen they both own. And when they sit down to eat, what this Iowa couple will see when they look up at one another, is exactly what the state must see, what the country must see, what everyone must see, ever since their wedding day at the end of last April.
Husbands.
And all the while, in my state of New York, along with 44 others, any couple of men, any couple of women desiring to share the 1000+ rights and privileges that come with the grin shared by this couple of Iowans, are denied that right, and everything that comes with it.
And here's why...
God Hates Fags!
Homosexuals are possessed by demons!
Homo sex is sin!
Kids will be turned gay!
Every "traditional marriage" will be threatened!
Society will be degraded as a whole!
We must protect the sanctity of the institution of marriage!
The more arguments we hear against gay marriage the more we realize that there are no arguments against gay marriage.
Only arguments against gay people.
And their existence.
That couple of Iowans, and any other men or women who share their sexual identity, are not seen as gay by the opposition, at least not in the same sense that the LGBT community and we their supporters see them.
It is important to remember that the anti-marriage equality factions see homosexuality as a sexual perversion, a mental handicap, a delusion that disgusts them and is meant to be overcome through proper pyschological counseling and extensive prayer. They do not see gay people as a people, but rather as a minority of sexual deviants who engage in abberant acts of intercourse because that's just what they believe turns them on, due to their condition.
Even though the prevailing scientific research on sexuality points to the biological correlation of a human's sexuality with the interplay of genetic factors and early uterine development.
But listen to me! Going on about something like science when these knuckle-dragging bible-humping neanderthals don't even believe the Holocaust actually occured, global warming results from any human influence or that the Earth is round!
And yet, they are the caliber of legislative minds granted authority by California and Maine to make the crucial legal decision of whether or not gays should be allowed to wed.
It is through the line of reasoning detailed above that all opposers of gay marriage find their sole rationale. Even if they're not holding up a God Hates Fags sign or blaming gays for 9/11, they're still basing their discretion on a legal matter in the same baseless empty faiths that the others are, they're still invoking religious doctrine over the legal docrtine it was never meant to touch and they are communicating the same messages of hate in what they consider to be a subtler way. When we describe same-sex marriage as a civil right denied to the gay community, or compare this struggle to the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960's, the opposition shoots it down, citing the resolve detailed above: that gays are not a people, but only a misguided group of people, who engage in something that they consider to be immoral, unnatural and a choice.
Alright?
Now then.
The movement for marriage equality is the single-greatest civil rights battle of our time.
The year 2009 was a massive year for same-sex marriage in America. This year saw legalization in three states, Iowa, Vermont and New Hampshire, and near-legalization in three others, California, Maine, and New York. New Jersey failed to pass it a few days ago and Washington D.C. is in the midst of a thirty day legal review before passing. While 2010 is not off to the most ideal start, the '09 momentum has not been stifled in the least.
Earlier today, California saw the beginning of the case Perry v. Schwarzenegger, (the rest of us did not, unfortunately, as it's YouTube debut was unfortunately delayed) pitting a lesbian couple who married during the brief window of time that gay marriage was legal in California against the state of California. This is a federal case. This is big fucking shit! And it could get even bigger. The next stop after this case will be the Supreme Court, which could make sweeping changes across the board and finally grant federal rights to all LGBT Americans.
We currently have five states with legalized gay marriage, while thirty states have constitutional amendments banning gay marriage. We also have the schizophrenic approach that my state takes in which it acknowledges same-sex marriages performed in other states, but refuese to perform them here! All this bullshit could be settled through Perry v. Schwarzenegger.
Many writers and observers have rightly surmised that this could prove to be the gay community's Brown v. Board of Education, or even more appropriately, Loving v. Virginia. This is no small matter, and there is great promise here. There is reason for us to get our hopes up.
But it may still fail.
And whether it does or not. Whether this legal right is ever again put to a vote of the people or not. We must all recognize the truth of the matter. We must correctly identify all views expressed against our LGBT compatriots as what they truly are. From now on, for ever onward, without question or pause or relent.
Anti-marriage equality = bigotry
The opposition can no longer be allowed to hide behind religion. They can no longer be allowed to hide behind their contempt for, and ignorance of, the scientific process. They don't care about the LGBT community, they despise them, they hate them, they see them as less than human. They care not for biological proof, they care not whether gay marriage will direcely effect them, they care not for the sappy story I began this piece with. They care only for repression with adherence to their ancient code. Their view can no longer be taken seriously, it can no longer be given any respect, for to do so is to give it credence, and that it can not have.
It's time for us to call them as we see them.
We must no longer take the route of trying to convince the bigots that gay marriage "won't change anything for them," "that it won't effect them," "that it won't disrupt their way of life."
I goddamn well hope it changes everything for them! I hope it turns their fucking world upside down! I hope it knocks down one of the largest fucking pillars that has held up this centuries-spanning patriarchy and helps topple it down into oblivion once and for fucking all on top of their shit!
If you do truly believe that this is a civil rights battle, if you believe that is what is being denied, than it is impossible to see the opposition's view in any other way. We are given all kinds of rights in this country. We have the right to believe the most foul and hideous shit we can imagine. But when presented with racism, when presented with a belief today that black Americans should not be allowed to vote, or marry whites, or should still be forced into segregation. What is our response? What if we were presented with what was allegedly the most scholarly researched advanced argument against racial integration? Or against feminism? Or in favor of genocide? What would be our response?
The same response should be shown to those opposing equal rights for the LGBT community.
And whatever they base it in, whatever gang they lead, whatever holy book they read, there is perhaps no religious ideology that can claim an impact on this debate that overpowers the influence coming from our own vicious unflinching deeply-ingrained dedication and rapid defense of our beloved gender designations.
If we had to identify the single greatest reason why opposition to gay marriage is as high as it is, I think our toxic patriarchal mindfuck may override religious zealotry to take the cake.
The Great Cleve Jones once said, and I'm paraphrasing here, that straight supporters often say gays and straights are of the same mindset, it's just the sex that's different. Jones then says that this characterization is wrong, it's actually the sex that's the same, our mindset is what's different.
It goes without saying that the opposition bigots don't see it that way, but many straight supporters don't see it that way either. They are just as disgusted by homosexuality as the most zealous religious bigot. Sometimes so much to the point that they will decline to voice their support, for fear of being associated with homosexuality and finding themselves on the receiving end of the accusation of homosexuality, and the horror they feel at that notion is simply too great to withstand.
And if there's one expression I truly fucking hate, it's the one that begins with:
"I'm confident enough in my sexuality..."
Confident enough for what? Confident enough to watch a film you feel deemed fit only for women to view? Confident enough to concede another man is reasonably attractive? Confident enough to hold hands with a man or greet him with a kiss? Confident enough to stick a dildo up your ass and dance on stage to Liza with a 'Z'???
That's wonderful for you! Congrats on that machismo-dominated faux-confidence you've perfected!!! Because your reverence for gender roles, your apathetic submission to the patriarchy, your surrender to any possession of or sense of self, of a pure self-owned self-image of your own design is what you've acheived. And that is goddamn well the result of choice, and it is influenced by your home life and the parents that raised you, and that is a abhorrent abomination not right by humanity that is seeing to the degradation of our society and has been for centuries now.
And now is the time for all of us, heteros, gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals, and the transgendered alike, to be confident enough in our sexuality to do something that's truly fucking important. It's time for us to stand up for marriage equality in the most forceful, proud and self-assured way and come out of the closet in our support for civil rights.
And just as civil rights extend beyond race, so does bigotry, and we must recognize that.
We must judge a couple's right to wed not by what is chosen of their hearts, not even the content of their characters, but simply by their will to wed the one, the only one, who can shield them from the darkness of this world, who bound themselves to the other the moment they became aware of their existence, the one they simply can't face this life without, until the last day comes, the last breath is shared, the last shred of light is snuffed out once and for all.
And if you do have a god, then you must put the interests of your fellow humans before the interests of your god. And if you think your god tells you any different, then it's time you get a new one.
Perry v. Schwarzenegger.
We'll be watching.
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Jared W. Adams
Grand Minister for General Mayhem