Dear DNC,
Last night when you called me to solicit money, you really picked the wrong day to do that. I know, how you were supposed to know that I had just finished watching Keith Olbermann’s Special Comment on the SCOTUS ruling yesterday? You couldn’t know that I was near tears because of the direction this country is taking. I feel bad that I kind of went off on you but I wasn’t prepared for your call. My head is a little clearer now (but not by much), so let me try to articulate to you what I couldn’t last night.
First, you wanted money. I don’t have any. None of us do. Even if I did have some, I wouldn’t give it to you right now. I’d rather give it to Haiti. At least I know they would use it for greater good than you would. I don’t want my money anywhere near people Like Blanch or Max. For the record, yes I texted my ten dollars in, so if I really wanted to throw you a bone I could find something. But I don’t want to right now. I don’t think you deserve it. I want to give my money to someone who’s going to fight for ME. We may not win the battle, or even the war. But I want to know that we went down swinging. Right now we’re not swinging. It doesn’t feel like we’re doing anything except spinning our wheels.
You asked me to tell you why I was so upset with the party and I did. But I don’t think I did a very good job. Let me try again. I’m upset because it’s the same old story. Again. Ad nauseum. We can’t get anything done because we’re too worried that someone will get upset. We might hurt someone’s feelings. Well guess what? Someone IS upset. We are. Your base. We’re the ones who are hurt. The people who voted for you because we really believed you this time. The hope that I felt has once again been replaced by the jaded cynicism that has always been there. I thought I was used to you breaking my heart. Guess that pain never goes away.
Back in 2004, I called the Kerry headquarters in Boston, in tears. I just needed help trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. The woman who answered the phone was wonderful. I told her that I didn’t think I could stay here with the way things were going. She told me to not think like that, that we needed people like me here to keep fighting for what’s right. I believed her and worked harder and gave more than I ever have this last time. More than I could really afford. But then again, I didn’t think I could afford NOT to. I’m starting to think that I should have taken my own advice.
And speaking of working my ass off. I live in a state that is so red you can see it from space. A state where my vote really DOESN'T matter because there is no chance for it to ever even be purple. The only chance I have of living in a blue state is if I move. If I move, I need a job. I’m not sure you’ve noticed, but there aren’t any. And it doesn’t look like there will be for quite some time. And still, I worked my ass off because I care about my country. I'm starting to wonder if we care more than you do.
I’m even college educated. No degree because the money ran out and I couldn’t afford any more loans. I’m told my parents made too much money for grants. Thanks for setting THOSE guidelines. Were you aware that there are other federal jobs out there that don’t pay as much as yours? Jobs that REALLY keep this country moving. Those were the jobs my parents had. They paid alright, but nothing like you guys make. I’m STILL paying off those loans.
Heh – Loans. Please don’t get me started on the bank bailouts. I realize that they were probably necessary. But I had to pay for it. And those fuckers are getting a bigger bonus this year than they did last. I’m living paycheck to paycheck. I really hope they’re enjoying the cars I bought them. They won’t even consider me for an auto loan. Hope the beater I drive can hold out because I sure as hell can’t afford another one.
I wanted to know why the hell we’re letting Joe Lieberman keep his chairmanship when he’s one of our biggest adversaries in the Senate. You told me that you thought that "they were talking about that." Somehow I sincerely doubt it. Joe Lieberman makes his own rules and we never call foul. Shit if I was never held accountable for anything, I guess I’d run amok too. How that bastard sleeps at night I'll never know. Must be nice. I'll never know because I can never stop worrying long enough to get any.
I told you that I thought Harry Reid should lose his reelection. I’m not sure how he can call himself a leader when all he does is whatever Joe Lieberman tells him to do. Oh, and whatever his big money says counts too. Those are what are important. Not us. Sometimes I forget that. Silly me.
I told you that Tim Kaine is a joke and that you could tell him I said that. You said not to worry, that they record and listen to the calls. I hope there is a lot of anger that they have to sift through. We’re desperate. Why can’t you see how frightened we are? How pissed off? Are you that disconnected? Forgive us for being disillusioned but I think we need to be able to cling to something, anything. Even if it is only bitterness at least we feel like we may have gotten our money’s worth.
Don’t get me wrong, I know there have been some positives and I realize that we inherited a lot of this from the previous administration. But enough is enough. Stand for SOMETHING. We look foolish and I’m not sure I have much fight left in me. I’m tired of fighting to be told it just isn’t enough. That you need more. I’ve given all I can give and I don’t have a damn thing to show for it. My spirit is breaking. When I told you I thought Obama was starting to look like a lame duck to me, I hope I was wrong. I’d give anything to be wrong. Give. As in money and time. To you.
The two straws that broke my back? Massachusetts and Health Care. I don’t need to explain those to you. We all know why.
Is this just a rant because I needed to vent? I’m not sure. All I do know for certain is that if something doesn’t give soon, because trust me something will give; we’re in a real shitstorm. It will be years before we have an opportunity like this again.
Let’s not blow it.
We have nothing left to lose because we’ve already lost almost everything.
Sincerely,
Margaret