It’s not easy to follow the President of the United States. And my twin 18-year old boys have added to the pressure, by giving me exactly ten minutes to finish before they leave to go watch SportsCenter. (Did they write this speech?)
I’m joined by fellow Virginians to share a Republican perspective on how to best address the challenges facing our nation today. (Republicans prefer corrupt proxy government by and for corporations.)
We were encouraged to hear President Obama speak this evening about the need to create jobs.
All Americans should have the opportunity to find and keep meaningful work, and the dignity that comes with it. (I thought we couldn’t talk about "should" in a free market system?)
Many of us here, and many of you watching, have family or friends who have lost their jobs. (No matter how much they pray, surprisingly.)
1 in 10 American workers is unemployed. That is unacceptable.
Here in Virginia we have faced our highest unemployment rate in more than 25 years, and bringing new jobs and more opportunities to our citizens is the top priority of my administration.
Good government policy should spur economic growth, and strengthen the private sector’s ability to create new jobs. (Hmmm, what’s the Republican position on developing the renewable energy industry? Oh yeah, it’s "Don't.")
We must enact policies that promote entrepreneurship and innovation, so America can better compete with the world. (But that would require genuine education — no creationist textbooks, no revisionist history, no sham right wing universities.)
What government should not do is pile on more taxation, regulation, and litigation that kill jobs and hurt the middle class. (Yes, because it was excessive regulation and lack of enforcement and litigation that caused the recent economic meltdown.)
It was Thomas Jefferson who called for "A wise and frugal Government which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry ....and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned..." He was right. (Thomas Jefferson would much rather have had government by corporation.)
Today, the federal government is simply trying to do too much. (Cleaning up others’ messes ain’t easy.)
Last year, we were told that massive new federal spending would create more jobs ‘immediately’ and hold unemployment below 8%. (Actually, this whole party started in 2008, and it was your favorite nincompoop at the helm.)
In the past year, over three million Americans have lost their jobs, yet the Democratic Congress continues deficit spending, adding to the bureaucracy, and increasing the national debt on our children and grandchildren. (IOKIYAR.)
The amount of this debt is on pace to double in five years, and triple in ten. The federal debt is already over $100,000 per household.
This is simply unsustainable. The President’s partial freeze on discretionary spending is a laudable step, but a small one.
The circumstances of our time demand that we reconsider and restore the proper, limited role of government at every level. ("Who am I to judge what is proper, you might ask? ... I’ll get back to you.")
Without reform, the excessive growth of government threatens our very liberty and prosperity. (Mostly when Republicans are in charge.)
In recent months, the American people have made clear that they want government leaders to listen and act on the issues most important to them. (Tea baggers = America’s best and brightest! Also, they’re the majority of Americans. Not a minority, or a parody of all that is graceless. The majority.)
We want results, not rhetoric. We want cooperation, not partisanship. (That’s why Republicans have easily set a new filibuster record in the Senate in 2009. Bipartisanship.)
There is much common ground. (Here come the specifics...)
All Americans agree, we need a health care system that is affordable, accessible, and high quality. (...wait for it...)
But most Americans do not want to turn over the best medical care system in the world to the federal government. (False on multiple levels. Anywho, keep waiting for it...)
Republicans in Congress have offered legislation to reform healthcare, without shifting Medicaid costs to the states, without cutting Medicare, and without raising your taxes. (... specifics on the way...)
We will do that by implementing common sense reforms, like letting families and businesses buy health insurance policies across state lines, and ending frivolous lawsuits against doctors and hospitals that drive up the cost of your healthcare. (Two proposals total, eh? How unexpected! "Let’s pin it on the lawyers who represent victims of horrific malpractice!" And even though lawsuit costs cover less than 1% of hospitals’ expenses, I think this is an important proposal. Though I’m sure Republicans are very concerned about what effect this regulation will have on the legal market.)
And our solutions aren’t thousand-page bills that no one has fully read, after being crafted behind closed doors with special interests. (Yes, well, fully reading legislation requires that you be able and willing to read.)
In fact, many of our proposals are available online at solutions.gop.gov, and we welcome your ideas on Facebook and Twitter. (Oh, that’s where all the specifics went — teh internetz.)
All Americans agree, this nation must become more energy independent and secure. (Apparently, Republicans are not Americans.)
We are blessed here in America with vast natural resources, and we must use them all. (Let’s rape nature even more! $$$ for me and my friends!)
Advances in technology can unleash more natural gas, nuclear, wind, coal, and alternative energy to lower your utility bills. (Last and least: alternative energy, everybody!)
Here in Virginia, we have the opportunity to be the first state on the East Coast to explore for and produce oil and natural gas offshore. (Gee, I wonder why scientists are against this. Can’t they see this is an opportunity?)
But this Administration’s policies are delaying offshore production, hindering nuclear energy expansion, and seeking to impose job-killing cap and trade energy taxes. (We Republicans are conservative, except when it comes to things that actually matter, like the environment.)
Now is the time to adopt innovative energy policies that create jobs and lower energy prices. (For a blink of an eye. And then we shall live upon what is known as a "hellscape.")
All Americans agree, that a young person needs a world-class education to compete in the global economy. As a kid my dad told me, "Son, to get a good job, you need a good education." That’s even more true today. (I’m Governor! See? I was able to manipulate more than half my state’s voters.)
The President and I agree on expanding the number of high-quality charter schools, and rewarding teachers for excellent performance. More school choices for parents and students mean more accountability and greater achievement. (And this can’t be done in public schools because...)
A child’s educational opportunity should be determined by her intellect and work ethic, not by her zip code. (Yes, her "educational opportunity" should be based on her genetics and her parents’ bankroll, not something arbitrary like her zip code.)
All Americans agree, we just maintain a strong national defense. The courage and success of our Armed Forces is allowing us to draw down troop levels in Iraq as that government is increasingly able to step up. My oldest daughter, Jeanine, was an Army platoon leader in Iraq, so I’m personally grateful for the service and the sacrifice of all of our men and women in uniform, and a grateful nation thanks them. (And to think, it wasn’t so long ago that Republicans believed women should stick to the kitchen and the laundry room.)
We applaud President Obama’s decision to deploy 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan. We agree that victory there is a national security imperative. But we have serious concerns over recent steps the Administration has taken regarding suspected terrorists. (Like half-heartedly attempting to restore the rule of law.)
Americans were shocked on Christmas Day to learn of the attempted bombing of a flight to Detroit. This foreign terror suspect was given the same legal rights as a U.S. citizen, and immediately stopped providing critical intelligence. (Yes, the underwear bomber, acting alone, had so MUCH intelligence to provide.)
As Senator-elect Scott Brown says, we should be spending taxpayer dollars to defeat terrorists, not to protect them. (What’s the rule of law worth anyway, in a post-9/11 world?)
Here at home government must help foster a society in which all our people can use their God-given talents in liberty to pursue the American Dream. Republicans know that government cannot guarantee individual outcomes, but we strongly believe that it must guarantee equality of opportunity for all. (God-given, see? That talk of "work ethic" before was just a pander, I guess.)
That opportunity exists best in a democracy which promotes free enterprise, economic growth, strong families, and individual achievement. (The economy must always grow. The economy must always grow. The economy must always grow.)
Many Americans are concerned about this Administration’s efforts to exert greater control over car companies, banks, energy and health care. (Ah, the old "many people agree that X" fallacy. Way to use that edumacation you value so much.)
Over-regulating employers won’t create more employment; overtaxing investors won’t foster more investment. (Well, we can agree on that. Except I think, when you say "over-regulating," you actually mean "regulating." And when you say "overtaxing," you mean "taxing." So, we don’t agree, and you’re an ideological buffoon.)
Top-down one-size fits all decision making should not replace the personal choices of free people in a free market, nor undermine the proper role of state and local governments in our system of federalism. As our Founders clearly stated, and we Governors understand, government closest to the people governs best. (The old "Liberals want to choose your doctor!" line, with a dose of "Liberals want to shake up your local patriarchal/racist/homophobic power structure!" The latter is true, but I don’t understand why "freedom"-loving, "equal opportunity"-loving Republicans would have a problem with that. Unless they aren’t being honest? Perish the thought.)
And no government program can replace the actions of caring Americans freely choosing to help one another. The Scriptures say "To whom much is given, much will be required." As the most generous and prosperous nation on Earth, it is heartwarming to see Americans giving much time and money to the people of Haiti. Thank you for your ongoing compassion. ("We Republicans don’t understand this ‘compassion,’ but thank you anyway.")
Some people are afraid that America is no longer the great land of promise that she has always been. They should not be.
America will always blaze the trail of opportunity and prosperity. (Of course, we’ll probably be the last to go up in flames as we pursue that good old "trail of opportunity and prosperity." We’ll just do our blazing over there.)
America must always be a land where liberty and property are valued and respected, and innocent human life is protected. (Only human life, eh? Gee, I wonder if you would attempt to justify your species-ism against any objective standards whatsoever. Stop me if I’m speaking too quickly.)
Government should have this clear goal: Where opportunity is absent, we must create it. Where opportunity is limited, we must expand it. Where opportunity is unequal, we must make it open to everyone. (And here I thought government couldn’t do these things. I’m confuuuused.)
Our Founders pledged their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor to create this nation.
Now, we should pledge as Democrats, Republicans and Independents–Americans all—to work together to leave this nation a better place than we found it. (Never mind applying this pledge to the environment Republicans so enjoy destroying.)
God Bless you, and God Bless our great nation. (Jesus loves you. This is a fact.)