Author: Dick T Bagger
Forward - I get my inspiration for writing history from the following SNL video
Much like the guy who is afraid of plants, I am afraid of history so I put thwacked googly eyes on it.
Jesus banished all the Indians to the USA after the devil buried all teh dinosaurs bones to f00l teh libruls. After that, George Washington landed on Plymouth Rock in 1776 with a conservative bible (being created now) in his hands. He defeated the librul British and Indian allies that were trying to force death panels on the colonists.
Afterwards, teh libruls tried to ruin the perfectly g00d Articles of Confederation with something called the Constitution. Thomas Jefferson replied to the devil worshipers that wrote this evul document that the tree of liberty needs to be refreshed with the blood of patriots. This means every American can take a fully automatic weapon to a speech by any librul politician.
DYK?????
The Fonz will spend eternity in hell after he dies because he refused to practice abstinence. He's wont be so cool then will he?
(End of Part One, because u don't need to know anything else)