This is intended to be a companion diary to Florida4Obama's current diary on the situation regarding her nephew.
Specifically, how do we get his stuff back?
Just so we're all on the same page, I'd like to focus in on this part:
Tomorrow I will be driving his parents car back to North Carolina and flying back to Florida. My nephew was contacted by his younger brother this morning and told that his parents had packed his belongings into boxes, and then donated them all to charity. His brother is 15 and has been told not to speak to him, so he had to make that call from a friends' phone. Apparently they found a copy of Out (a magazine) in his room and decided that he didn't have a right to keep anything.
What I'd like to have happen is have a constructive dialog in order to come up with a reasonable way for Florida4Obama and her nephew to insure he gets as much of his stuff back as possible.
This would be a good place for those who know lawyer-fu to speak up as to what legal claim the nephew has over his stuff. Things like: (a) how long his parents would have to hold on to his stuff before they'd be allowed, legally, to dispose of it, (b) if, when disposing of it, they'd be allowed to donate his stuff to charity especially, (c) if they'd be able to get tax credit for donating his stuff or if this would constitute theft.
The only I asked for the legal stuff is so that we have a better picture of where he stands with they law, in the off chance that legal action is required and Florida4Obama and her nephew want to take that route.
That's plan B.
Plan A is to figure out the non-confrontation route most likely to get his stuff back. Her nephew is going through a horrible life crisis, and while the best outcome would be for him to make it through this crisis sane and with all his belongings intact, the former is obviously the only thing that truly matters. I'd just, all things considered, for him to be able to do that and still be able to get his stuff back.
Here's my idea, copied from my comment in her diary:
I'd call up her nephew's parents to inform them that, yes, you'll be returning the car.
And, as either a favor in consideration that you're driving the car back instead of leaving it at an airport for them to pick up (or just out of the understanding that they'll be want to be rid of you as soon as possible) could they please have his stuff boxed up and ready to go?
This puts them a bit of an awkward situation. Because either they they either have to lie to you and say his stuff's still there (they don't know that you know they gave his stuff away, and we don't want the younger brother to get into trouble!), or they can tell you the truth, in which case you can inform them that, since he's 18, that stuff is not theirs to give away.
Approach this from a position of ignorance - operate under the belief that they still have his stuff because, given how important the car they get their car back, respecting other peoples property is clearly very important to them.
Be polite! You don't gain anything by pissing them off more than they already are.
But I believe there's substantial gain if you can obliquely hint at possible legal consequences. Something along the lines of, "I'm returning the car to you because it's yours and I don't want you reporting it stolen. Likewise, could you make sure that nothing happens to my nephew's property?" or thereabouts?
Is this the best way to approach the problem? There might be a better solution, but this is what I've come up with.
So, in conclusion, how do we get this guy's stuff back?
[Just to be clear, the intent here is to talk about the options available to F4O and her nephew. They are perfectly free to ignore any and all advice as they see fit. If they decide they want to get his stuff back, I can only hope that this diary will be of some assistance.
If Florida4Obama and her nephew feel that its in their best interests just to move on, they are perfectly free to ignore this diary in its entirety. This is their situation, their problem, and their lives.
I am simply trying to insure that, should they decide he'd like to carry some of his belongings along with him into his new life, they get the best advice possible (note: probably not mine) on how to accomplish that.]