I have a secret I'd like you all to know: I'm a gay guy and this doesn't mean that if you live with me or sleep over at my apartment I will fondle your junk or otherwise do anything to you. In fact, I'd probably not be attracted to you as I'm very picky. It's true.
The fact that you're a dude and I'm a dude doesn't mean that I'm interested. I know that disappoints you and it's just so mind-blowing that we don't automatically want every single male we meet but there you have it.
The same goes for gays in the military, I'm pretty sure. I would assume that a gay soldier could do his job properly and avoid molesting his roommates. I'd think he wouldn't even hit on his roommates, as he is there to do a job like anyone else. So, it hurts that in 2010, someone would say, "I would not ask our Marines to live with someone who is homosexual if we can possibly avoid it..."
It's strange. Even in the process of trying to remove some stigmas against gay people, we are forced to endure more. The stigmas placed on us at some earlier point will be removed and replaced with nicer, less violent ones. And we're supposed to cheer. We're supposed to be thankful. I'm not thankful.
This kind of talk should not be allowed by members of our military, especially not higher ups. It shouldn't be allowed in polite society, nor in any type of job setting. This is 2010. This type of comment is equivalent to "gays will rape your kids." These arguments and this hatred have no basis in reality.
I'm just a guy. I'm a twenty-six year old gay crippled guy. I have good qualities and faults. I try to help people. I try to be a good person. I'm nice to people. I can lie just like anyone. But I'm not a rapist. The words gay and rapist don't mean the same thing. I don't know why people choose to believe this kind of shit about my orientation. It's just an orientation.
The truth is that you could room with me. Even if you're a really hot guy but you're straight, you could room with me. I respect boundaries. See, some people might not respect others' boundaries but this happens across the board with any orientation. Sure, there are probably some creepy gay rapists, but that's not a reason to smear the entire gay community.
Language like this can go really far and hurt a lot of people. Using language like this against a historically targeted minority is nothing short of evil. You want to know how genocides have started? Governments target the undesirables through words first. They build anti-whoever sentiment in communities and homes. Then they move onto the more deadly solutions. At that point though, it doesn't matter, because so many of the undesired community are already being attacked by their peers that it's simple to move to the next step.
Having someone in a position of authority like this who says these things and who implies that we are scum helps people decide to hurt us. To target us. To slash our tires. To vandalize our homes. I had a friend in high school who was gay and his house and car got vandalized on a regular basis. These kids' parents spouted anti-gay hate and the kids repeated it at school and it grew and festered and resulted in vandalism against him.
For what exactly? For being a target? Think about that for a second. He got attacked for already BEING a target. We are being persecuted because of this same thing. It's not our faults that some people are backwards.
It's not our faults that some think if we are allowed to shower near other men or sleep in the same room as another man we will attack them. We won't do that. We won't rape kids. We don't want to convert anyone. We don't want to teach kindergartners gay sex. We don't want to do anything but be free.
When I first realized I was gay I grew up listening to my mom talk about fags and queers going to hell. And I am religious so HELL was a very real and scary concept for me, not just a word that meant "bad place." That wasn't even the worst. My uncles would openly talk about wishing fags would all die. They'd openly mock us with lisps and limp wrists.
Being a thirteen year old was kinda rough.
This kinda talk will fuck a kid up, I'm telling you. I'm on medication now for severe anxiety and depression. I don't like people and I don't talk to anyone if I can help it. This isn't your normal type of behavior for a guy my age.
I grew up so terrified every day. What would my family think? What would friends think? Could I even keep friends? Would everyone abandon me? How long before I get kicked out of my home? I was so, so scared. I felt hated. For two years I cried myself to sleep nearly every night begging God to please change me. Please make me straight like everyone else. I don't want to go to Hell. I'm not a bad person, please fix me.
I'm very glad that nobody ever caught me crying at night because I'm a terrible liar. I couldn't have made something up.
I was so scared for so long when it came to getting close to anyone. I couldn't do it. Then I started to realize how horrible it felt to lie. I could be a good friend and could tell someone everything... except one thing. And when that happens the one thing is all you ever think about. I hated myself so much. Both for being this way and for lying to REALLY DECENT people about being this way.
They told me everything and they were so good to me despite the fact that I'm in a wheelchair. That took a lot of courage for teenagers. And I couldn't tell them the fucking truth about me. I lied to people every day. Maybe my family was right. Maybe faggots who lie and mislead good people do go to Hell.
That's what I thought back then. That's how I grew up. Terrified and alone. Worried about everything and everyone. I still have permanent anxiety issues for this. I'm afraid I'll have to take medication for it for the rest of my life.
Be mindful of what you are doing. You never know who you'll destroy.
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UPDATE and a favor: You guys should all call and write your Congresspeople tomorrow (and during the week!) and tell them you want DADT repeal in the Defense Authorization Bill where it will take 60 votes to remove it. We need it placed into this bill in order to pass it and it is NOT, I repeat NOT a sure thing that it will be added onto this bill. We need to let our reps know this is what we want. There's a strong pushback against doing this. Please help us out on this.