Skip to main content

Been out of the country for a week and, apparently, while I've been gone things have... um... changed a bit.

Hean Shannity ♥'s Timothy McVeigh (complete with remodel of the Oklahoma City Federal Building/168 families) and the New I-HATE-THE-MEDICA Oppressed Caucasian Guy (now THRILLED to be on CNN) thinks pointing his wife's shotgun at census workers is the all-the-kids-are-doing-it alternative to John McCain's "keep off the lawn" signs.

These are just the latest threats from people who have decided that "checkups" and "counting" are the doing of the devil and must be fought with a force of...

(Wait, his WIFE'S GUN? That's got to be some see-how-HOT-I-am-that-I'm-man-enough-to-tell-you-I'm-not-afraid-to-use-a-girly-gun-while-I-entertain -WILD-FANTASIES-OF-CENSUS-WORKERS-SHOWING-UP-WITH-A-SWAT-TEAM-TO-GET-ME ploy! The mating habits of the American Conservative Male honestly baffle me. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah...)

..."checkups" and "counting" are the devil's work and must be fought with a force of a man with a girly-gun entertaining WILD FANTASIES OF CENSUS WORKERS SHOWING UP WITH A SWAT TEAM-TO-GET-ME!

So, given the new national crisis (and the seeming MAINSTREAMING OF A UNIBOMBER MENTALITY) I just need to know...  how far can I go to insure that this is still MY AMERICA?

For instance, can I drop a school of piranha in Ernie and Bert's bathtub because I'm tired of them teaching my children that its alright for two muppets to live a life of sin?

Can I send a suspicious white powder to my grandmother when she sends me a birthday card adorned with a stamp featuring the face of noted wide-eyed socialist Franklin Delano Roosevelt?

Can I send that same white powder to the congressperson in my grandmother's district for representing a woman who worships noted wide-eyed socialist Franklin Delano Roosevelt?

Can I blow up the local post office for issuing this "tribute" to said noted wide-eyed socialist?

Back to Ernie and Bert a moment... can I cut off the hands of the puppeteers who control Ernie and Bert? After all, aren't THEY the ones who are really making the homosexual choices? If so, should I then apologize to Ernie and Bert for having unnecessarily fed them to carnivorous fish?

Who am I allowed to kill if I can't get FOX News in my hotel room (and -- if I don't want to get in trouble) can I just get Chick Deney to do this for me)?

Since we've already established that counting people is an impingement on my right's as a citizen, can I throw a flaming bottle of gasoline at Ms. Greeby - my son's kindergarten teacher -- after she teaches him that "one clown plus three clowns equal four clowns"? (And is the reference to clown a nasty swipe at Blen Geck?)

Can I do the same to the school nurse who has been practicing socialized medicine for YEARS whenever she used federal tax dollars to put a band-aid on his boo-boos?

If I feel that the clean water coming out of my pipes is the federal government threatening my right of free determination, is it cool if I put rat poisoning in my well so that I can be free?

Please, let me know as soon as possible, but do not use the mail to contact me, as I plan on using my wife's rocket launcher to send that tool of government oppression back to the Reagan era!

Originally posted to SYFPH on Mon Apr 05, 2010 at 03:19 AM PDT.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

sdf, Bob Johnson, vicki, Ray Radlein, Phoenix Woman, ogre, DawnG, Joan McCarter, Mountain Don, Rolfyboy6, TrueBlueMajority, theboz, Debby, donna in evanston, KateG, frsbdg, sersan, freelunch, frisco, SallyCat, rasbobbo, concernedamerican, bronte17, missLotus, sponson, indybend, annrose, bhlogger, KMc, Glic, mkfarkus, vmibran, nargel, jbeach, Miss Blue, Jesterfox, splashy, bustacap, Cedwyn, high uintas, sele, wader, lulusbackintown, Texknight, dejavu, Tracker, grannyhelen, jaywillie, JimWilson, Patricia, nika7k, papercut, razajac, bwintx, Exurban Mom, FlyingToaster, econlibVA, NapaJulie, SanDiegoDem, lyvwyr101, eztempo, Timroff, environmentalist, My Philosophy, sawgrass727, Julie Gulden, historys mysteries, radarlady, kingubu, blueyedace2, deepfish, Erik the Red, PBen, KnotIookin, electricgrendel, kefauver, citizenx, terrypinder, Brooke In Seattle, trinityfly, boofdah, Ex Con, Morrigan, SaraBeth, aaraujo, Overseas, blue jersey mom, Floja Roja, FindingMyVoice, dsteffen, bunsk, Rogneid, Ekaterin, Land of Enchantment, terjeanderson, RainyDay, begone, reddbierd, Mother Mags, MadGeorgiaDem, third Party please, gwilson, Debbie in ME, keeplaughing, Kingsmeg, sherlyle, Clytemnestra, virgomusic, tung sol, Kimball Cross, rl en france, Yellow Canary, koNko, kestrel9000, The Wizard, Esjaydee, luckydog, global citizen, Glorfindel, paul2port, real world chick, myrealname, Pilgrim X, llbear, SingerInTheChoir, Cenobyte, Clive all hat no horse Rodeo, Statusquomustgo, Mr Horrible, kurious, Hedwig, AllanTBG, NonnyO, One Pissed Off Liberal, anotherdemocrat, donnamarie, Wanda517, Loudoun County Dem, edsbrooklyn, flumptytail, kingyouth, Seneca Doane, MI Sooner, jayden, GMFORD, vbdietz, mamafooce, jnhobbs, millwood, MaskedKat, cececville, Got a Grip, LWelsch, JML9999, A Person, Empower Ink, gizmo59, MKinTN, Dem in the heart of Texas, rogerdaddy, JaxDem, Louisiana Fiddle Gal, RickMassimo, Phil N DeBlanc, scooter in brooklyn, BlueTape, Fe Bongolan, lineatus, pamelabrown, smartdemmg, TokenLiberal, MsWings, mnguy66, envwq, Gemina13, Matt Browner Hamlin, luckylizard, dont think, shortgirl, woodtick, legendmn, LaFeminista, Fiddlegirl, FudgeFighter, maggiejean, SciMathGuy, 1BQ, Bule Betawi, multilee, Rhysling, denisegreenbay, rsmpdx, litoralis, greengemini, deMemedeMedia, LinSea, RustyCannon, Partisan Progressive, velvet blasphemy, earicicle, DefendOurConstitution, Perry the Imp, smartheart, followyourbliss, elziax, MooseHB, kevinpdx, IDrankWhat, stevenwag, sfarkash, 57andFemale, PoliticalJunkessa, D Wreck, sherijr, haremoor, Bene Gesserit1, ohmyheck, Rian Fike, deviant24x, susan in sc, ozarkspark, BigVegan, Its the Supreme Court Stupid, seesmithrun, coppercelt, awcomeon, marabout40, TessaV, Tea and Strumpets, amk for obama, zaynabou, LeanneB, LeftyAce, your neighbor, BonnieSchlitz, Dexter, ctlrick, sullivanst, pixxer, elginblt, SoCalHobbit, Cure7802, tellinya, DerAmi, addisnana, alethea, MsGrin, ericlewis0, Bobbysmom, science nerd, txcatlin, Actbriniel, JanG, Onomastic, gobears2000, Journalist Julia, I love OCD, sowsearsoup, Meggie, Zooey Glass, BlueJessamine, fishboots, QuestionAuthority, FarWestGirl, beantown mom, Civil Writes Activist, phillygirl64, burana, grannysally, grottoes, KVoimakas, whoknu, IL JimP, ilovecheese, MinistryOfTruth, poliwrangler, Wood Dragon, blue aardvark, Book of Hearts, rscopes, Sunspots, StepLeftStepForward, Nashville fan, Dakit, bearette, LiLaF, FireBird1, Hookah, Miep, J Brunner Fan, Joieau

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site