This much we know for certain. Newborns grow through certain developmental stages. We grow through developmental stages all our lives, but the earliest stages are the most critical in terms of the child’s future development. None of this is new or secret information. One of the requirements for a teaching degree is a course in child development. If you take that course, here’s what you’ll learn.
It is during the first three years of life that we begin to acquire all of our basic attitudes toward the world, toward ourselves and toward others. This is when we learn to see our glass as half full or half empty. This is where the twig is bent. This is where parenting MUST begin.
During this time there are many things parents must do in order to help their child establish healthy patterns for successful, life-long learning. The child's understanding of world and society come from the parents and their interaction with the child during this stage. If the parents expose the child to warmth, a regular daily schedule and dependable affection, the infant's view of the world will be one of trust. It is during our first three years of life that we develop a sense of self-esteem, optimism and the ability to form healthy attachments to other people. Should the parents fail to provide a secure and loving environment at this stage, the child will most likely grow up with a sense of hostility, mistrust and aggression.
Let’s review what we already know about how kids grow up. We already know that abusive parenting is a fact of life, and that not all of it occurs knowingly or intentionally. We already know that caring for a newborn takes a lot of time and energy. It is a demanding, full-time job.
We know that budget cuts to education and social services mean that many young parents do not have the support and guidance they need to do the job of parenting, as I have described it above. Parents who are forced to work two jobs just to survive simply do not have the time and energy to read to, talk to, play with, sing to and hug their child. As a result, important child-parent bonds are not established, and so the child often fails to develop a healthy attitude toward others, a sense of self-control or of right and wrong. The child never develops proper social skills, a conscience, or a sense of compassion.
We know that many family history studies of death row inmates reveal a clear pattern of neglect or abuse at this early stage of life. Timothy McVeigh, the uni-bomber, the Zodiac killer, and millions of death-row inmates were made, not born. Before we ask the question of how they are continuing to be made, let’s take a look at what else we already know.
We already know that cuts in education, health and social services go to make up for the tax cuts given to corporations and to the wealthy. We know that the system is stacked in favor of big business and against the little people, the poor and the ill. We already know that, as the corporate fat cats give bonuses to themselves on our tax money, the lives of newborns are being ruined before they’ve actually had a chance to begin.
We know that the help these families desperately need is being diverted. We know where the side-tracked money is ending up. Much of it goes to pay for the corporate lobbying machine. We know that if we give families the help and support they need, we may well prevent the making of another uni-bomber, Oklahoma bomber or zodiac killer. We also know that we are facing the grasping fists of a very greedy and powerful corporate class, who thinks the money should go to corporations rather than to human beings. We also know what’s right, and we know what’s profitable.
We know that the right thing to do is to give back all the money that has been cut from the school and clinic budgets. But we are up against corporate bullies, no different than the ones you see in the schoolyard. They have the power to inflict pain and suffering on those weaker than themselves. They want more than their fair share, and they’re intent upon taking it by force.
When I taught in the public school system, I was always careful to spot the bullies right away. When I identified one, I called it to the attention of the principal, who then called the parents in for a meeting. I can remember seeing him after such a parent meeting, shaking his head and saying with a sad smile, “The apple sure doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
That’s the point. Bombers and bullies are not born, they are made. It happens during the first 36 months of life. That is when it is determined forever if our glass is half full or half empty, whether we will be open, honest and compassionate, or will we be fearful, join a gang, rob a liquor store or kill a cop.
This is where the gang problem begins. This is where the disruptive student problem begins. This is where attitudes of hope or futility begin. We know that if education, health and social services receive their proper level of funding, we can expect to see reduced levels of crime, gang activity, truancy, violence and poverty. This much we already know.
Let’s watch and see how many legislators in local, state and federal government know the right thing to do. Make a list. Remember them in November.