We laugh uproariously at small-minded bigots and their silly little world where you can pray away the gay and hire "sensual" and "wild" young men off Rentboy.com who are "up for anything" to "carry their luggage on vacation." They live in a world where "the gay agenda" lives to bring gay porn to children in the schools. But the reality is: the joke's on us. Why?
Because their silly, little version of reality wins the day every time. We don't write the rules LGBT Americans have to live under, they do.
We who laugh, can't change the paradigm of our society. We can't assemble the power to shut them up once and for all, and show them they don't get to dictate the rules.
• We can't deliver the final word to them and affirm LGBTs Americans have a right to be employed.
• We don't have the will to affirm that LGBT Americans have the right to define for themselves who their family is, who they may call husband or wife.
• We can't convince the government not to deport the lovers, even husbands and wives, of LGBT American citizens, because the Federal government considers the relationships of same-gender couples to have no value.
• We can't even endow LGBT Americans that are willing to lay down their lives to protect this country the unfettered right to tell their commanding officers who should receive the memorial flag.
• We don't have any national protections in place to ensure LGBT Americans are afforded equal opportunity to recieve—and keep—their housing.
• LGBT youth are not even assured they can take their date to prom. There's a remedy offered, which also includes greater protection to LGBT kids under many circumstances in our public schools. But it won't pass Congress anytime soon.
We don't have the courage.
We don't have the will.
We don't have the power.
It's fun to laugh to laugh at them. I admit, I do it too. But sometimes, I feel tremendous sadness, because at the end of the day, Miss Opposite Marriage 2009 gets the crown. This is the winning argument, California and in Maine:
Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one way or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And, you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, no offense to anybody out there. But that’s how I was raised and I believe that it should be between a man and a woman.
In March 2008, Elaine Donnelly testified against repealing DADT before a House committee. From the Washington Post:
Donnelly treated the panel to an extraordinary exhibition of rage. She warned of "transgenders in the military." She warned that lesbians would take pictures of people in the shower. She spoke ominously of gays spreading "HIV positivity" through the ranks.
"We're talking about real consequences for real people," Donnelly proclaimed. Her written statement added warnings about "inappropriate passive/aggressive actions common in the homosexual community," the prospects of "forcible sodomy" and "exotic forms of sexual expression," and the case of "a group of black lesbians who decided to gang-assault" a fellow soldier.
Dana Milbank, writing in the Post, was one of many reporters to comment on the less than receptive greeting she received, evidenced by strong challenging, even mocking by the Congress members present. He even declared her testimony a "miscalculation" that was so over-the-top, it inspired derision from all, and likely inspired sympathy for repeal.
No. Not really. Not at the end of the day. At the end of the day, no one will really stand up to her. It doesn't matter how how inane or silly or laughable or ridiculous or vile or dishonest their arguments are. The system is set up to accommodate her and people like her who have a need to victimize innocent people. And her side will get to win. Again.
It makes me sad and weary that time and again, good, solid arguments appealing to man's better nature and common sense lose, while these people's insane version of reality wins. And I hate that we're being beaten by these people right now. Again. I'm sure they're having a good laugh.
This is what it looks like when bigots win the day:
Today's Letter: "'Macho' has no place in the modern professional Army, please end antiquated stereotypes about gender and gender roles"
May 5, 2010
President Barack H. Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President,
I may be stating perhaps an obvious truism: Love is confusing.
As a friend and, later in life, a chaplain, I have counseled many as they tried to navigate the toughest of love‘s questions: Is this the person I should marry? Is this infatuation or love, and how can I know the difference? Should I take the relationship to the next level?
The first time I fell in love, it was just as confusing. I knew I was in love, but with a woman. It was a severe test for me. I had never been in a same-sex relationship and didn‘t see myself as gay. Yet the fact remained — I was in love.
Adding to the confusion, and the fear of the whole experience (love can be scary enough on its own!), was the fact that I had just graduated from West Point and was serving as a Second Lieutenant (2LT) at Schofield Barracks.
I had gone to West Point, to a large degree, because of the code of honor. Integrity has always been, of all the values, the one I hold most dear. My mother had graduated from UCLA and I remember clearly the day she told me how disappointed she was when she saw some of her students buying and selling papers they had written.
At that moment I thought: Nope, that is not going to happen to me. I am going to a school that matches my desire and need for honesty and integrity.
So there I was – in love with a woman – and a brand new 2LT on a small island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
The easiest thing for me to do -- and the course of action I tried -- was to encourage myself to run from love. I also considered confiding in others, but given the horror stories of investigations and removals from duty, I decided against it. The thought of the shame of being interrogated and kicked out of the Service for something I wasn‘t even sure I was (a lesbian!), was too much to bear.
In the short three years that I was on active duty, I was Airborne and Air Assault (first female Distinguished Honor Graduate). During the First Gulf War, I volunteered to go to Iraq. Due to the needs of the Army, however, I remained in the Pacific – working in the 25th Infantry Division.
The values of physical work, integrity, service and team building made the Army an almost ideal place for me. I may have continued serving if I had felt more a part of the team.
I was well-liked and had friends, but not being able to share the biggest struggle in my life (and the biggest joy) with my peers and military friends prevented me from really forming the kind of friendships that one needs to feel as an integral part of a team.
It’s the warmth and support of a team that is truly needed for real “unit cohesion” among the officer corps and with the troops. It is necessary to continue to risk life and limb for each other.
In the end we risked everything not only for our country, but for our country personified in and by our buddies, members of that integral team. Not feeling that, I resigned my commission in September of 1991.
If I can be so bold, Mr. President: we need to help soldiers, and all people really, develop healthy understandings of what it is to be human, divorced from antiquated stereotypes about gender and gender roles.
“Macho” has no place in the modern professional Army; put downs and negative comparisons to the feminine are also hurtful to the Esprit de Corps of the Forces.
I know that you have based your Administration on creating a culture of respect for difference, of developing your version of “unit cohesion” based on the values of inclusion and diversity, not in spite of them.
This is the direction that the military needs to go, and it can start by repealing DADT now.
Sincerely,
Former First Lieutenant Laura Slattery
United States Army
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Change the paradigm
Fate of DADT's repeal will be decided in the next few weeks. As time grows short, repeal advocates have multiple strategies are in place. One thing they all share is a need to hear from the public the time is now. Now is the time for LGBT allies to get off the fence and call for equality for their fellow Americans and support the troops.
WHY THIS IS A CRITICAL TIME:
• The House Armed Services Committee markup of the Defense Authorization bill is expected May 19.
• The Senate Armed Services Committee markup of the Defense Authorization bill is expected the week of May 24.
Repeal advocates are on the 10 yard line.
To our supporters: Thank you. Keep fighting you are doing the right thing, and I will remember that in the future. This is why are are proud Democrats.
To our opponents: A Rep Murphy says, it wastes taxpayer money, is bad for national security, harasses brave, patriotic troops for no good reason and is an immoral policy that offends our American ideals.
To the fence sitters: You were elected to lead. History will show whether you had the courage to fight for what's right, or cowered in the corner, and let bigotry win. Voters too, who overwhelmingly support repeal will remember in November.
• Contact your House Representatives: Tell them to support Representative Patrick Murphy's plan to offer DADT repeal legislation as a floor amendment to the military bill. SLDN tool here.
• Contact your Senators: Tell them to support adding repeal to the Senate Defense Spending Budget: these Senators are most key: Bill Nelson, Ben Nelson, Evan Bayh, Jim Webb, Robert Byrd and Scott Brown. But call them all. Show them there's a grassroots movement to vote now. SLDN tool here.
• Contact the White House: Tell our Commander in Chief to ask Congress to insert repeal language into the 2010 Defense Authorization Act. Repeal can't wait until 2011. The moment is now.
• Contact Senate Armed Services Committee Chairmain Carl Levin (D-MI) and tell him Military Budget Attachment is the way to go. His office in Washington can be reached at: (202) 224-6221
• Become a citizen co-sponsor of repeal at Senator Udall's site.
IMPORTANT UPDATE! We have an expert in the House. Adam B's Live Blog discussion with DADT Repeal lead sponsor Patrick Murphy just went live. Please go there, and show thanks, support and ask him questions on how we can help.