By now, we've all heard the news that BP has agreed to put a paltry twenty billion dollars into an escrow account to pay for damage claims resulting from their oil spill. We're also hearing that this twenty billion is not an absolute ceiling. David Axelrod says that there will be no upward cap on victims’ claims. In other words, $20 billion may only be the start. By the time we're done, BP may be on the hook for tens of billions of dollars. Hell, with no cap on liability, the sky's the limit.
Clearly, unlimited liability is not enough.
Mr. President, it is time to make BP pay more money than it has. And that time was yesterday.
I am tired of half-measures. Mr. President, you must demand that BP pay $infinity times two, no backsies. It is time to commence Operation Blood from a Stone.
Unlimited liability is weak tea. We must have no limit on infinity itself(X2). I put it to you thus: BP must pay more money than it has, than it has ever had, or ever will have. Any demand short of that is a corporatist sellout.
I think a good start would be to demand the equivalent of world GDP. That's 61.1 trillion samolians, Mr. President.
But that's only a start, and it's not good enough, Mr. President. Current pulled-from-the-ass estimates of the total cost of Gulf cleanup run to googolplex dollars, times a septillion to the hundredth power. Just to give you an idea, that's this many zeros:
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
times a googol! And what's more, those numbers aren't made up: they are taken directly from my ass.
Not enough, Mr. President! Not even a good start.
Effective prior to the oil spill, you must have done the following:
- Prevent the spill
- Seize control of all world assets from the beginning of time
- Kill the dinosaurs before they could turn into oil
Oops, looks like someone missed the deadline! The time for action was before time began, Mr. President. No wonder you're always playing catch-up.