After months of vicious back-and-forth among the diaper-clad poo-flingers here (repressive "Obamabots" versus repressed "haters"), I have discovered a startling truth while sifting through a large carton marked "Obama berth sertificut stuff" I borrowed from Orly Taitz's condo that may render all that endless back-biting moot...
(Don't ask me how I obtained this mound of evidence. Orly may already be on to me. I saw an odd-looking, gangly, bad-haired bleach blond parked in a 1974 Plymouth Fury outside my home last night.)
Here's the startling truth...
Barack Obama may have never been born at all!
That's right. According to the treasure trove of documents I purloined from the back of Orly's bedroom closet -- the closet where she hangs her strange, sparkly dresses and stashes her seven dozen pairs (yes, I counted) of flashy spike-heeled shoes -- not only is there no original Obama birth certificate from Hawaii, but, in fact, there is no Obama birth certificate from any place on Earth!
(more)
Among the documents in the Taitz stash is the fake Kenyan birth certificate Taitz produced more than a year ago with handwritten notations from Taitz on it that include the following (presented as written):
- "Make the seel look more offishil"
- "Is that reelly how you spell Keenyah?"
- "I wanna sign as Obamas mother! Do Mozlems write differnt then white peeple?"
- "Why don we put a baby handprint on their if we cin find a colored baby?"
So besides proving that Taitz invented the so-called "Kenyan birth certificate," the documents I discovered included a very thorough investigative report from none other than [NAME REDACTED], former CIA spook. [NAME READACTED]'s conclusion?
In fact, it appears that no such person as Barack Hussein Obama was ever born. Anywhere. On Earth. Or even on Mars, according to my in-depth and thorough investigation. In addition, I will soon be releasing the "Whitey" tape.
The report concludes that "there is no Barack Huseein Obama."
In other words, we have no President! If Barack Obama was never born -- and the evidence from [NAME REDACTED] certinaly suggests this -- then we must conclude that Barack Obama could never be President of the United States!
That's right!
All you numbskull poo-flingers have been fighting back-and-forth for months over, literally, nothing!
Think of the hours you've wasted in inane arguments with those you consider to be on the "other side" of the divide. Think of the barrels of self-righteous indignation you've drummed up about having your freedom of speech repressed by the angry hordes of Obamabots or the damage being done by the "haters."
All for naught!
Here's the good news...
This should put to rest the relentless stream of meta diaries among the devoted group of infantile navel-gazers who would rather endlessly debate who is right and who is wrong rather than discussing actual issues or advancing the ball.
So, at least we got that goin' for us...
Now, if I can only sneak back into Taitz's place before she notices the carton missing from her closet...