What the hell?
David Brooks of the NY Times is even stupider and more insulting today than usual. And that's saying something.
Wait'll you hear what's in his column today, after the jump. You won't believe just how offensive his offend-a-thon can be.
Brooks writes in today's column, "Faustus Makes a Deal," that progressives actually wished for the financial collapse and the Gulf oil disaster.
Please ignore that both tragedies were caused by conservative Republicans, whose anti-regulation, pro-business policies favored Wall Street tycoons and big oil companies, allowing them to do whatever they wanted to our finances and environment.
But according to Brooks, progressives supported these tragedies because we thought they would help our cause. We were actually surprised when destroying the economy and environment turned out to be bad for America. We must be idiots!
But -- ha ha! -- this all seems to be Brooks' idea of a hilarious joke.
The zany madcap Brooks wrings this jest from his premise that when progressives sit around inventing ways to destroy America (you know, like progressives are always doing), we actually discuss our plans with Satan! Ha!
One of Brooks' super-funny quips has "the famous left-wing Dr. Faustus" tell Satan,
"Lord of Darkness... I would like the nation to be hurled into an economic crisis caused by Wall Street greed and recklessness."
Hee hee, get it? What's wrong, no sense of humor about that subject?
In another rip-snorter, Brooks has Dr. Faustus beg Satan,
"I would like a multinational oil company to cause the biggest environmental disaster in American history."
Oh stop, Mr. Brooks, your mirthful inventions are killing me!
In Brooks' fantasy, Satan makes Dr. Faustus' wishes come true, of course. Dr. Faustus, that liberal moron, thinks these tragedies will turn America liberal. Why? Because:
"Not in 70 years had there been a sequence of events so perfectly designed to fortify liberalism."
Like I said at the beginning: What the hell? How could tragedies like these help anyone? What liberal wished for them?
Eventually, of course, Dr. Faustus sees he was wrong, and realizes his evil scheme has backfired, because the tragedies he wished for have made America more conservative.
And then Brooks predicts the future:
"Bitterly and too late, Dr. Faustus saw that liberals can’t have their way and still win elections in places like North Carolina, Ohio and Missouri."
I call bullshit -- double bullshit, actually.
Bullshit #1: Liberals didn't "have our way" when these tragedies occurred. As everyone including Brooks must know, we fought against the conditions that caused them for years before they happened. If the Bush administration had listened to us, these tragedies wouldn't be happening now.
Bullshit #2: We can still win elections in those states, especially Missouri, my home state, where Democrat Robin Carnahan is virtually tied in the polls with right-wing Republican oil-boy Roy Blunt in the Senate race for next fall. Once voters learn that Blunt is bought and paid for by big oil, and has opposed Democrats' efforts to make BP pay the full cost of the clean-up and repair, Carnahan will pull ahead, I'm sure.
That is, unless famous columnists like Brooks can convince them that the oil spill and the economic collapse were secretly caused by liberals -- and our best friend, Satan. Sheesh.