I have watched with growing dismay as the right has further and further corrupted the Bill of Rights. The worst offender, as amply demonstrated by her recent tweets, is Sarah Palin.
So, I decided to take a tour in Palin's mind to try to discern her version of the Bill of Rights (I note her mind was nicely uncluttered and roomy with lots of air; in fact, more spare room than many a NYC apartment).
And, here, based on Palin's public comments, is what I found as her version of the Bill of rights.
1st Amendment: Religious Freedom - only applies to Christians who are allowed to say what they want where they want (unless they happen to be inciderary black preachers; those are bad). In fact, Christians (and Jews because Jesus was a Jew after all) have carte blanche to preach to the unconverted. But Muslims are bad, so they should not try to impose their fringe religion (after all the fifth of the world that is Islamic are just unconverted Christians) on anyone, especially not anywhere near Ground Zero. The eleven 9/11 attackers do, after all, represent the views of the billion odd Muslims worldwide.
Freedom of Speech - Freedom of speech means that I, and those that are conservative should never be critized for saying any inane comment, as that imposes our privilege to make inane comments. If Dr. S want to be racist it is deplorable that anyone would object because that keeps her from continuing her high paying (and over-taxed) radio job.
Of course, this freedom of speech does not apply to anyone joking or critizing me or other conservatives. (See, Letterman, David and Guy, Family).
Freedom of press - Well, need to borrow from Angle here, but freedom of press means freedom from hard or unexpected questions from the press. Who do they think they are trying to investigate things? The press needs to bow at my feet and report all my opinions as gospel truth.
2nd Amendment: We all get our guns, no restrictions, no rules. Otherwise, we would not be able to hunt from helicpoters.
3rd Amendment: Troops should not be in our homes. They belong on the borders to keep those dishwashers, nannies, and landsapers out.
4th Amendment: Conservatives should be free of any searching inquiry of our positions and beleifs. Only Fox News understands this. Those Lame Stream Media groups try to be unreasonable by failing to ask only softball questions to allow us to repeat our talking points.
5th Amendment: A typo by the Founding Fathers (I'll admit they made one mistake). All this does is coddle criminals.
[Added because of a comment noting need for an addition] Of course, government cannot take anything from anyone in taxes. That's just wrong. And since this amendment is a lower number than any other amendment allowing that, this one is easier to count to (only one hand; easy) so it wins.
6th Amendment: Another typo, just coddling criminals.
7th Amendment: If I ever have to sue anyone, I want a jury of my peers. In other words, only real Americans. None of those elitist, educated, marxist socialists who spend their time palling around with terrorists.
8th Amendment: Geez, maybe the founding fathers made more mistakes than I knew. Of course the accused are guilty, so they should not get bail. We need to protect the children.
9th Amendment: This whole thing about rights to the people might be perverted to give those who are not real Americans all sorts of rights I do not believe they should have. Must be another typo.
10th Amendment: If a State does not like a Federal law, well, golly, the State can ignore it. Not that nullification would ever be abused by certain states. Federal government is bad (unless I am President, of course, and can force states to fall in line with my beliefs).