The reason the Democrats lost last night is so obvious!!!! It's because they didn't do [insert my meta-belief about what they did wrong here] when they should have!!
It has nothing to do with the fact that the majority of job losses as a result of the financial crisis occurred after Obama's election or in the first few months of his inauguration, but it's because [insert bill I cared most about] didn't have [insert clause I think it should have had]!!!!!
This wasn't historically predictable at all - minority parties almost never make gains in an off-year election! The unemployment rate didn't hurt us either. Instead it was because Obama appointed [insert advisor I decided is the root of all evil] instead of [insert either Paul Krugman/Naomi Klein/Noam Chomksy - note: he did appoint Elizabeth Warren so scratch her from list].
The reason this election was lost wasn't because Democrats ran away from their accomplishments and those of their presidents, but because [insert message about financial issues I know nothing about but use angry terms that will rile people up]!!!!!
Young people, minorities and others didn't show up in adequate amounts not just because they almost never do in a mid-term election, but because the Dems didn't [choose one of: do constant appearances on Daily Show, follow-the advice of an obscure op-ed I read, put out an auto-tuned YouTube video].
I don't have to provide any actual supporting evidence that these are the reasons the Dems lost, because I just know it's [farfegnugen]!!!!! I JUST KNOW WHY!!!!!