Submitted, for your amusement, a little piece I threw together here at work. I'm sure there are others who can do a much better job crafting the refrains, so feel free if you are one of those who possess such talent. Don't forget to sing it during the holidays to bring cheer :-)
Sung to the tune of Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
Grandma done got fondled by an Agent
Comin' home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as ‘groping,’
The public, well you see, they‘ll soon believe.
She'd been in line for the screening.
She was happy don’t you know.
They were catchin’ all the bad guys,
The TSA was there puttin’ on a show.
The duty of the people
Since the Towers were attacked
Was to set aside their old pride
But the new groping had taken her aback.
Grandma done got fondled by an Agent
Comin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as ‘groping,’
The public, well you see, they‘ll soon believe.
She didn’t listen to Grandpa.
Or to my concerns as well.
We tried to tell her it would happen,
Seems her trust in the system we couldn’t quell.
The Agent did touch Grandma.
Down the front and up the back.
You should have seen when she freaked out
When the Agent’s hand slid up into her crack.
Grandma done got fondled by an Agent
Comin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as ‘groping,’
The public, well you see, they‘ll soon believe.
Now that Grandma’s in the lockup
‘Cause they said her threat is big.
She had ignored all our concern,
Let’s hope she has learned what happens to a prig.
I've warned all my friends and neighbors.
"Better watch out for yourselves."
The TSA gave permission,
Now Agents are allowed where no one delves.
Grandma done got fondled by an Agent
Comin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as ‘groping,’
The public, well you see, they‘ll soon believe.
(Sing it Grandpa)
Grandma done got fondled by an Agent
Comin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as ‘groping,’
The public, well you see, they‘ll soon believe.
Happy travels this Thanksgiving.