What if the end of the Roman Empire had been chronicled by today's media and on the internet...
"Citizens encouraged to buy Egyptian obelisks; Doric column makers protest."
"Lead lobby insists nothing wrong with lead dishware."
"Obelisk market crashes after speculators realize obelisks are a useless waste of space."
"War on German borders enters 112th year. Our legions capture #3 in Goth command."
"Emperor bails out wealthy obelisk speculators from pyramid scheme."
[MORE AFTER FOLD]
"Hot water party [no tea yet !] asks for more circus games, fewer gladiators."
"Senator rumored to have sold obelisk shares before crash; celebrates billionth slave in style in Capri Estate."
"Greeks lobby seeks to end Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy in Legions."
"Senator’s private scrolls leaked on Forum by Wikius Assangus."
"Doctors object to introduction of price control on leeches; undertakers rejoice."
"Wikius Assangus star of new Lion & Tigers & Bears attraction at Coliseum."
"Slaves say Rome is #1; ask for more crucifixions."
"Emperor declares bipartisan negotiations with Huns a smashing success: Empire concedes Romania, Bulgaria. Who needs them anyway."
"Citizens encouraged to buy Gaul megaliths; great investment opportunity says Senator."
"Jews fight with Arabs."
Feel free to add your own. Historians of the future, I suspect, will not be kind to this period in our history.