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Most of you know by now my diary bemoaning Rep. Giffords' voting against Nancy Pelosi has been taken by the far right to preemptively protect themselves when it is inevitably found out that the perps against Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords are tied to the far right and even perhaps (not saying this definitively) to the Jesse Kelly campaign or simply some of his disgruntled sour grapes supporters. I was not happy with MY congresswoman feeding into the then emerging media narrative at the time (not anymore because the shooting has overshadowed everything), that NINETEEN fellow Dems voted against former Speaker Nancy Pelosi as our leader in the House. At the time of the vote for leader, Giffords voted for Rep. Lewis, whom I admire deeply. However, the media of course spun ALL 19 votes against Pelosi as disgruntled Democrats who voted against her because Pelosi was too far to the Left. Giffords herself told me how much she admires Nancy Pelosi.

Thus, I considered it a betrayal that Giffords would feed into that false media meme of a mini "revolt" against Nancy Pelosi by those in her own party. This is especially meaningful because Giffords' name was listed along with Heath Shuler's. I made a VERY poor choice of words when I partially titled the diary, "now dead to me." Of course i wished no harm to Gabby. I still LIKED and LIKE her (everyone who knows her does, she has this infectious smile and demeanor); however, I spent my money, my family spent their money, and we all volunteered for her campaigns ever since she ran for the CD for the first time. And we weren't happy with her feeding into that media narrative against Pelosi. My mom even cried when she heard of Gabby's vote. My mom and i ADORE Speaker Pelosi.

I am an atheist so I have NOT prayed in the traditional sense for all the victims, including Gabby. BUT, i have definitely sent many positive thoughts her way and keep hoping she will make a FULL recovery. My father is a GOPer and he is Catholic and HE has prayed for Giffords. My mom and I cried when we heard the news yesterday. I had been invited to attend the event, but my mom, who has health issues, had dizzying spells; thus, at the VERY last minute, I decided not to go to the event. My reason for going to the event would have been to ask her what was she thinking by feeding into this anti-Pelosi and anti-111th Congress as being too liberal for the nation narrative. My mom is grateful she was dizzy, because I could have been a casualty. I live seven miles from the location of the event. I would bet my house that it will come out that some disgruntled former Jesse Kelly rightwing supporters did this. Most of you have no idea just what kind of far rightwing nut Jesse Kelly is and just how crazed, not unlike Nazis, his supporters were. I was at Tucson's yearly gay pride festival in October. I was driving a full-size pickup (i'm a good liberal now, driving a hybrid, haha). I had Gabby paraphernalia ALL over the truck, including large yard signs attached to it. I was attempting to leave, making an attempt to drive out of the park's parking lot where the gay pride event was held, and a bunch of Kelly "church" people LITERALLY attacked my vehicle, banging on it, including one with a large stick.

They yelled that "of course all of that bitch's (Giffords') supporters were 'god-hating' faggots!" They threatened to pull me out of my truck and beat "some sense" into me. I replied to them in VERY vulgar terms and told them through my rolled-down window that if they didn't get out of the way, i'd proceed to go and they'd get ran over. They replied, "go ahead, AIDS-spreading faggot!" So i promptly drove forward. Obviously, they all got out of the way. When i got home, i noticed they had managed to rip most of my Giffords for Congress stuff off my truck. So it is not surprising to me seeing the ugliest campaign i have EVER seen, that supporters of the fascist side would not take his loss lightly. And the gun laws here in Arizona are FAR too lax. So:

  1. i fully apologize to all the victims in this shooting, including Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, for my poor choice of words in that diary.
  1. i fully and respectfully apologize to this blog and to Markos himself for the bad publicity amongst the right wing this has caused, including the NYT.
  1. i apologize to the DailyKos membership and readership for being maligned by the far right blogs.

However, I HAVE to offer a heartfelt "fuck you" to the right wing blogs AND the New York Times' Matt Bai, for even mentioning my username here in ANY connection to that unspeakable and unthinkable horror. If my real name ever gets out there because of a simple diary posted here three days ago, I shall sue for defamation. Libel, to be specific. I am still in shock over this horror in MY community. But i am also shocked and stunned that my diary of three days ago here would be all over the place online, and including the supposed "paper of record". I'm in a daze over all this. Thank you for reading.

EDIT: i was the person who deleted MY diary of three days ago, under NO pressure from anyone at DailyKos. It was certainly NOT "scrubbed" by the site's moderators of Markos. I chose to delete it because i thought it being in existence after the horrific event on Saturday was in poor taste.

Originally posted to BoyBlue on Sun Jan 09, 2011 at 10:00 AM PST.

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