Esby here, with an exclusive on Keith Olbermann's show on Fox News! Apparently a deal has been made and the TV ban has been lifted. You're hearing it here first. Just wanted to let you know of the details I am aware of.
First, Keith is being paired with objective commentator Michael Savage. They are graciously calling it The Michael Savage Show. Keith has been given a personal assistant, Sludge, a reformed mobster who follows him around and makes sure Keith "doesn't get into any trouble." Nice that they are looking out for Keith!
Keith is allowed to say any word or phrase that rhymes with "zeficit", "skall governquent", and "ovamaklare mepeal". We all know that sometimes people have contracts that demand things that they just have to do. On a Fair and Balanced network, this is a non-issue.
Finally, they have let Keith know that somebody has wired The Litteh Kitten Camp in Rincon, Georgia with explosives, and caution him that there are "disturbed individuals" out there that might get inflamed if they hear any kind of the wrong rhetoric and may hurt the kitties! Fox News, you are such animal lovers and it is nice that you have warned Keith of this! This should be a big hit!
Despite what we eventually learned about the shooter in Tucson, should the right have really been so shocked that many feared a political connection between the heated rhetoric of 2010 and the shooting of Giffords?
—Joe Scarborough
Heated rhetoric of 2010?
The party of treason has never been shy about taking foreign cash, even though it's illegal. In 2008, Obama even received campaign contributions from Gaza (I.e. Hamas). So where does a corrupt, unpopular President from the party of treason go for reelection cash? China, of course.
—Tea Party Nation Founder Judson Phillips
Or heated rhetoric of 2011?
I regret anything that I said in jokes—no. Ask Jon Stewart, ask the Simpsons.
—Glenn Beck when asked by Meredith Viera if he regretted past things he said.
The Simpsons? His fans are used to talking to imaginary people.
And this morning I tuned in to hear the latest update on the biggest news story of the day. Sarah Palin's reaction to the media's reaction to her reaction to the media's criticism of her rhetoric in the wake of the Tucson shootings.
—Stephen Colbert
But no, the intention is not to require seniors to return the $250 checks that they received under the operation of the law.
—Eric Cantor. (R, OH).
Finally. progressives are asking good questions.
Because the world scoffs at the name of Jesus Christ. They scoff when you say he's the son of God.
—Franklin Graham, son of evangelist Billy, on the un-Christian Tucson memorial.
Gabrielle Giffords is Jewish.
An apology is only meaningful if it is consistent with a sincere understanding of what a person has done wrong. If Gov. Bentley were to say: ‘I realize I was wrong that we are all brothers and sisters', and not single out only the ones who believe in Jesus Christ.
—ADL Southeast Regional Director Bill Nigut, about Governor Robert Bentley's (R, AL) apology for saying that only Christians are his real brothers and sisters.
Philly sucks.
—Glenn Beck, who was dropped from Philadelphia radio station WPHT.
Then stop wearing that stupid powdered wig.
I blame the individual for the first 10 bullets. I blame the law for the next 21 bullets that he fired.
—Lawrence O'Donnell
I believe Dr. King would have a message for us and a message for anyone who would dismiss us in such a manner: ‘Turn the other cheek.’
—Eric Smith, Maine Council of Churches about Gov. Paul LePage's (R, ME) comment to the NAACP to kiss his butt.
Page later admitted he lied about that and other things.
I don't think you've read it, sweetheart.
—Sen. Joe Lieberman (D, CT), to Arianna Huffington when she protested Lieberman's claim that the Duelfer Report proved Saddam Hussein was seeking out a WMD program.
Patronizing much?
Joe Wilson and Sarah Palin claim they've repealed Health Care Reform. Sounds like some folks need to re-watch School House Rock.
—Sam Seder, referencing this classic.
Dick Cheney says it might be appropriate to limit gun magazine size. Well, yeah, that's easy to say when you can crush a man's windpipe with your mind .
—Drew Curtis on Fark
Well, well.
—Alaskan nobody Joe Miller, who mocked Lisa Murkowski on Twitter for saying Healthcare reform is dead.
That is so typical of our country. The way we are always fighting the last war.
—Bill Maher on Realtime about 250 federal agents recently sent to Tucson.
You know what, if you think you can shoot the bullet with the other bullet, you can an awesome life in Annie Oakley's sideshow, but you should not be in charge of billions of dollars of the defense budget.
—Realtime guest Rachel Maddow, discussing SDI.
China? Are they going to bomb 3000 Walmart stores in the United States and thereby destroy their export machine?
—Realtime guest David Stockman.
It'd be pretty awesome if Obama stepped to the dais and said, "We are in an interminable, expensive war and our economy is terrible, none of you are working, and you sent a bunch of people to Washington who think we can solve our problems by painting Hitler mustaches on them, so I'd say the State of our Union is pretty much ass-over-tea kettle, okay? It is FUBAR, almost unto death! Okay? I'm going to yield the balance of my time to Jeffrey Immelt, who will tell you what intergalactic escape shuttle you've been assigned to. Yeah, that's right! We're giving up. Time to take your game into outer space, mofeaux!"
—Jason Linkins
I am so sad that Keith Olbermann got fired. I am worried that we won’t know who is the most horrible person in the world without his direction.
—Laura Schlessinger
Don't worry, I'm sure you're always on the short list.
Didn't you get the memo, America? Once Obama moved into the White House, everybody darker than Jwoww forfeited the right to be affronted.
—Mary Elizabeth Williams, on Schlessinger's new book and her n-word controversy.
Because, because I think a lot of people, Leader, would say that a leader's job is to shut some of this down. You know as well as I do, there are some elements on the right who believe two things about this president: He actively is trying to undermine the American way and wants to deny individuals their freedom. Do you reject those beliefs?
—David Gregory to Eric Cantor.
Let me tell you, David, I believe this president wants what's best for this country. It's just how he feels we should get there, that there are honest policy differences.
—Eric Cantor's non-answer.
Refuting birtherism is too divisive.
Still no luck finding the real birth certificate, but honestly I haven’t launched my search in earnest yet. And I’m on the wrong island.
—Jonah Goldberg
It's about consequences, and not suffering from any. There are absolutely no repercussions to writing a nasty comment or e-mail, so people feel they can vent at will. They never think that the person receiving the message might be a real human being.
—Jacqueline Whitmore, founder of etiquetteexpert.com.
On the other hand, if they’d just run his show at night now with his empty chair, MSNBC would finally have a non-white face hosting a show. They’d still not be as diverse as the tea party, but it’d be a step in the right direction.
—White Guy Erick Erickson
One of my favorite ex-girlfriends is from Pittsburgh, a hometown Steelers fan, and my usual rule is to root for all the ex-girlfriends’ sports teams; but this time — apologies! — I will be supporting our local boys.
—Mike Petemra on the Corner.
You had me at "one of my favorite ex-girlfriends."
I don’t begrudge Olbermann wanting more money, even though I thought he was wildly overpaid. If you think you can fetch a better price from a giant corporation for your low-rated show, why not go for it?
—Jonah Goldberg, who has a fraction of the million-person audience Olbermann had every week.
Out of respect, her response will go live shortly after Rep. Ryan finishes his comments.
—Levi Russell of theTea Party Express.
Out of respect, or the fact that no one will watch her?
If the problem's so big, where are all the victims?
—Megan McArdle in The Atlantic, asking where all the people are with preexisting conditions.
Some of them are dead.
By the reflecting pool, suspended there to represent a single bloody second, we suspect there are prayers offered these days for Gabrielle Giffords and the rest of Jared Loughner's victims. And they will be offered again, some day, for the victims of whatever comes next, because something will come next, and because the 168 souls lost in that place are not enough. That much murder was not enough and, may never be.
—The Editors of Esquire Magazine.
Read it.
Music Quote of the Week:
Blues singers and people who are singing on stage have the same feelings and emotions that someone who is called to be a priest might have. At the time I thought I need to give myself a chance to play music while I'm a teenager.
—The White Stripes' Jack White, who said this week he thought of being a priest when he was young.
Movie Review of the Week:
Poor Natalie Portman - she survives the horrors of "Black Swan," only to find herself in an Ashton Kutcher movie.
—Gary Thompson, on No Strings Attached.
Quote the Ravin', a weekly roundup of quotes from around the internets, comes out every Tuesday on Daily Kos around lunchtime.