I need a scorecard, and that might not even help me keep straight all the players and charges. Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is among the most sued public officials in the land, mostly for false arrests, unwarranted investigations, abuse of powers, and prisoner mistreatment -- even the deaths of people in his custody awaiting trail, not convicted of anything.
The self-professed "toughest sheriff in America" has already cost County taxpayers a staggering $43 million to date, with at least another $100 million in claims pending. One wonders how he does anything except fight lawsuits.
From 2004 through November 2007, Arpaio was the target of 2,150 lawsuits in U.S. District Court and hundreds more in Maricopa County courts -- 50 times as many prison-conditions lawsuits as the New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Houston jail systems combined. Public Record
Got that? Fifty times more than the next four largest county systems combined. And that quote is several years old, when Joe was just getting warmed up.
So when Sheriff Arpaio and his Republican cronies run on "fiscal conservatism" and "austerity" because he saved a few pennies on prisoners' meals, or because it cost less to air condition his Tent City than an actual, humane jail, those pesky 43 millions get in the way. Not that facts matter to the blue hairs and bigots who return Arpaio to his thrown every four years.
Crasy-ass Lawsuits: A Competition
The County has some real competition in the Looney Tunes lawsuit department, though. Down at the State Capitol we've got "headless bodies" Brewer and her lawsuit against the Feds for not interfering with Arizona's border enough. At the same time her legislature has introduced a "nullification" bill to keep the Feds out of the State's business. Priceless.
So, to keep pace in this wackadoodle litigation land, the last week has witnessed lawsuits aplenty flying around MariKafka County. And when you read the claims, that Kafkaesque moniker doesn't come close to capturing the bizarro world that these people must be living in.
First up we have the clowns who were responsible for much of the $43 million in successful lawsuits brought against the County:
The same people responsible for tens of millions in claims being filed against Maricopa County are now drooling after their own pot of gold. Former Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas and David Hendershott, Sheriff Joe Arpaio's former right-hand man have filed a notice of claim along with Thomas' former lackey, Lisa Aubuchon, for a combined total of $60 million. New Times
You read that right. The two lawyers who provided legal cover for many of Arpaio's repugnant tactics, such as his infamous "sweeps" into neighborhoods, which led to false arrests and racial profiling claims, are suing the County. The two lawyers who filed the unsuccessful and unethical retaliatory lawsuits against their own County Supervisors, which helped bring down both attorneys, are suing the County. On top of that, Arpaio's Chief Deputy, who actually carried out many activities the County was sued for, is suing the County. In other words, the lawyers and deputy whose approval and implementation of Arpaio's tactics resulted in tens of millions of dollars in successful lawsuits against the County, are suing the County because they fucked up.
The far, far righty Andrew Thomas was County Attorney for five years of Arpaio's regime, helping the Sheriff search out brown people and erect his police state. Not all of the tactics that Thomas sanctioned met with the approval of County Supervisors, among them outspoken critics Mary Rose Wilcox and Don Stapley. These high-profile political pissing matches led to some very public run-ins with the Sheriff, Deputy Hendershott, and his pet County Attorney.
To get revenge, so typical of the bully Arpaio, he and Thomas filed lawsuits against Wilcox, Stapley, and Judge Gary Donahoe -- indictments that included hundreds of charges. In one made-for-TV moment, the Sheriff's deputies even stalked Stapley, arresting him with handcuffs and all, just in time for the 6 o'clock news (they tipped off local stations so the cameras would be there and rolling).
However, after nearly a year of research and who knows how much money spent on the investigations, not one of Thomas's lawsuits ever saw the light of day -- all were tossed out. In fact, after reviewing the files, Special Counsel John Gleason, who was engaged by the State Bar of Arizona, said Thomas and his Deputy Aubuchon should be disbarred:
... Aubuchon and Thomas misled the court, violated attorney-client privilege, and brought charges against individuals simply to embarrass or burden them while knowing there was no probable cause or evidence of wrongdoing.
Wilcox, Stapley, and others have filed counter lawsuits against Arpaio's Office for abuse of powers, totaling at least $56 million.
I Screwed Up, So Give Me Money
Thomas, Aubuchon, and Hendershott all messed up, so now we should pay them. Thomas's lawsuit against the County says that his reputation has suffered. He goes so far as to claim that this damage to his reputation -- which of course he had nothing to do with -- cost him the Republican victory in the Attorney General primary.
Last year Thomas left the County Attorney Office to run for AG, which would help elevate the anti-immigration sentiment that he and Arpaio share to another State Office. To help out, Sheriff Joe ran political ads against Thomas's main opponent in the Republican primary, Tom Horne -- the eventual victor. (The ads prompted an investigation because they were probably illegal, but that never stopped Arpaio.) Since the defeat to Horne, the lawsuit says, "[Thomas] has continued to suffer grave injuries," and therefore he is due $23.5 million from taxpayers because he screwed up as County Attorney and then lost the AG race. Now there's a ploy for future candidates who lose -- sue the voters who did not elect you.
Lisa Aubuchon was Thomas's Deputy at the County Attorney's Office, and her $22.5 million piece of the lawsuit is equally surreal, in that she essentially claims she did not profit from her mistakes, and Gleason's threat of disbarment has made it difficult to jumpstart her legal career. Like Thomas, she demands taxpayers reimburse her for her own misdeeds.
Dave Hendershott, who was Joe Apaio's Chief Deputy, has even thinner legal ice to skate on, if that's possible. Last fall another County Deputy, Frank Munnell, released a 63-page report that says Hendershott and others on his team
"willfully and intentionally committed criminal acts by attempting to obstruct justice, tamper with witnesses, and destroy evidence."
It's a scathing memo and attracted tremendous media attention. Arpaio immediately put his Chief Deputy on paid leave, pending an investigation, whose results we expect soon. In the interim, Hendershott has filed his own $14 million lawsuit against the County, alleging that his reputation has suffered and made it difficult for him to find employment. Eh, isn't that sorta the point, to get corrupt cops off the force? (On top of that, he's still being paid and will collect a healthy pension.)
Not To Be Left Out ... From the Other Side.
So today, the Arizona Republic reported that another lawsuit has been filed against Arpaio and the County for fraudulent investigations:
Maricopa County's director of information technology [Stephen Wetzel] has filed a lawsuit against Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, his chief deputy David Hendershott, former County Attorney Andrew Thomas and others for placing him under criminal investigation last year.
Wetzel's $2 million lawsuit claims he was "wrongfully targeted for an investigation" by the Sheriff's Office, something he'll have to stand in a very long line to collect on, as many others have filed similar complaints -- including people like Don Stapley's secretary, Susan Schuerman, who is seeking $1.75 million from the County because the Sheriff's deputies harassed her at home and work during Arpaio's investigation of her boss. And on and on and on it goes -- while Maricopa County is the only county in Arizona whose crime rates have increased since 2004, and, yes, that includes the border.
We still await the findings from the two-year investigation of the Sheriff's Office by the Department of Justice. In the meantime, Joe Arpaio has already said he intends to run for Maricopa County Sheriff again in 2012. He will be 80. That means two things: 1) We will all need a much larger scorecard, and 2) we can look forward to more classy campaign commercials for Arpaio like this one: